Space Garden
by Yolashillinia
Summary: Space Dad meets Space Plant OC; fluff ensues. Fluff-fic to smother Shiro in love and support and cuddles. Complete until S8 comes out.
1. Part 1: The Green Girl

Fluffy Voltron: Legendary Defender nonsense! Shiro and random OC! Because SpaceDad needs **all the hugs**! Doesn't fit anywhere in the show and that's okay! Written during NaNoWriMo so I hadn't seen Season 2 yet! (I'm actually still only halfway through because of work and life getting in the way!)

Actually it's not really what I was expecting, especially the serious parts.

.

Part 1: The Green Girl

"No, no, no…" The planet was rushing towards him, but he only saw glimpses of it through the crackling, static-filled displays. Whatever gravitational/accelerational compensators the Black Lion had were failing, and he was being pressed back into his seat. The damage they'd taken was too much, and they were crashing, he had no control, the Black Lion had no manoeuverability, even if he'd been able to exert any pressure with his left arm. "Come on, buddy…"  
He clipped the emergency safety belt around his chest and prayed, bracing for impact.

He was… warm, and… mostly comfortable. Aches and pains everywhere, his ribs, his legs, his shoulders. Not his artificial arm. The wounds on his left arm still stabbed into him, but not as raw and searing as before. He could hear birds of some kind, distantly, and the wind though leaves, as if through an open window, and a soft scratching sound closer by. He could smell wood, and grass, and sunlight, and other, stranger, fainter smells – it suggested some kind of disinfectant. His mouth tasted foul; he needed water, badly.  
He could feel rough blankets under his fingers, could feel bandages wrapped around his head, bandages wrapped around his left arm. His body wasn't encased in armour anymore, but soft clothes that felt like wool. He was definitely lying in a real bed of some kind, soft and giving in an oddly crackly way. Would his eyes open?  
Yes, but it was brighter than he'd been expecting, and he shut them again with a grunt. He'd caught a glimpse of wood above him, a wooden ceiling, maybe?  
He heard a gasp, over on his left, and cautiously opened them again. He wasn't expecting an enemy, not when he'd clearly been rescued and taken care of. Over on his left, squinting against the light, he saw…  
A female, young-looking, but she was green. Green skin, green hair – was it waving on its own? Hair didn't move like that, even in the wind, and there wasn't that much wind in this… hut. Tiny house thing. She was staring at him with blue eyes with pupils like four-pointed stars. And she was wearing a pastel pink tank top and shorts, with a yellow scarf.  
"Ah! Um, uh, hello…?" the girl – woman – green alien female managed to say, trying something that resembled a smile. It was a pretty handy thing that most life in the universe seemed to have developed common body structure, common facial features, and common expressions…  
He blinked dazedly at her. "Hello." They were in a tiny house thing, as he'd noted briefly before, made of wood, with wooden furniture carved in a simple fashion. There was a little window across from him, through which he could see blue sky, and an open door a bit to the left, through which he could see a sunlit grassy path and the hint of a small village of wooden huts, and the girl was sitting at a desk with a big open window in front of her with sunlight streaming through soft white curtains. Beyond her was something that looked like a fridge, and another window, and cabinets. One of them was open, revealing small bottles and jars. They didn't look like food, more like medicine.  
"Oh, oh, you're awake! For real this time! Oh, and your voice is deeper than I was expecting," she cried, and scribbled something down on the desk in front of her. Her hair was definitely moving on its own. There was an extra pencil in it. She turned back to him, her shoulders scrunching up in a shy manner. "H-hi! H-how are you feeling?"  
"Um. I… I'm all right."  
"C-can you be more specific? I've never worked on a h-human before, and um… I-I don't know if I missed something…?"  
"I don't think anything's broken," he said slowly. "Lot of bruises, I think, and those cuts, but you seem to have taken care of them. This bed is comfortable. I could use some water?"  
"Mm, mmhmm?" She scribbled more notes, then got up and brought him a water bottle with a bendy spout so he didn't have to sit up to drink. As he washed out his mouth and sucked down the cool refreshing drink he'd been craving, she went and perched back on the edge of her chair, staring at him curiously, her hair curling up around her head as if it was also curious.  
"You a doctor?" he asked.  
The green of her cheeks turned slightly brighter, a little more yellowish – was that a blush? "Y-yes, I'm still in training, but I'm the most senior student here s-so they let me take care of you as my final project. Y-you don't mind, right?"  
He managed a reassuring smile. "No. You're doing fine. I think. I'm not a doctor."  
She giggled awkwardly. "Th-thanks. I mean, I've heard of humans, but everyone knows they haven't developed interspacial travel yet so, like, you're… kind of mythical, and the chance to work on one…"  
"Guess I should be glad I didn't wake up in some kind of lab, huh?"  
She flinched, her bright expression dimming for a moment, even though he'd meant it teasingly. "We don't believe in that."  
"You seem kind of flustered," he said, trying to help her calm down.  
The blush returned, much stronger. "W-well, it's… not every day a… an exotic handsome alien falls from the sky in a robot quadruped."  
He laughed, wincing at the ache in his ribs, and felt a blush spreading over his own face. _'Exotic handsome alien'? How flattering_. "I'm afraid you have the advantage of me," he said, and began trying to sit up. "Who are you? Your people, and you specifically…?"  
"Oh, no, don't get up yet!" She sprang from her chair and darted towards him; he flinched from her rapid approach, but her small hands were on his shoulders, pressing him back down, and he relented. But she hadn't missed the flinch, either, and she was standing awkwardly above him now, holding her hands as if afraid to touch him. "I just… You've had a concussion, and you've been unconscious for a very long time, and, um…"  
"It's okay," he told her. Sitting up was too much work right now anyway, especially with his arm. "I was just startled."  
"O-okay. I'm sorry."  
"Don't be." She seemed spastic with nervous energy, and she fidgeted with her scarf. "So… yeah, who are you?"  
Oh, right!" She jumped, then went to drag her chair closer to his bed, then checked his pulse, pulled up his eyelids and looked critically into his eyes. "I think you're doing okay for now… Um, let me see. You're on the planet of Teler, and we call ourselves Telerans. My name is Elslince, and I'm a doctor-in-training for the Resistance. And you are?"  
Hey, alien names that he could pronounce. Well, he could pronounce 'Allura' and 'Coran' and 'Altea', too, but he'd come across some… He test mumbled 'Teler' and 'Elslince' under his breath just to be sure before he answered her question. "Ah, you can call me Shiro. I'm… Hm. I'm a Paladin of Voltron."  
Blue eyes widened. "Oh, what's that? It sounds important."  
Their legend hadn't had time to spread to this planet, it seemed. Well, the galaxy was a big place. "Voltron is the Defender of the Universe. It's many thousands of years old, and it was lost for a time, but my friends and I found it again just recently. It's…" This always sounded silly. "It's a group of five robot lions that combine to form a giant robot man. It's the most powerful weapon in the universe."  
She made a grossed out face. "Ew, weapons." She gasped. "Wait, so that robot quadruped we found you under… that's a weapon?" Her face turned horrified, maybe a little frightened, too.  
"Wait, didn't you say you're a member of a Resistance?"  
She drew herself up as if offended. "I am a doctor. In training. When I'm through, I swear never to touch a weapon or to harm a living being through wilful intent, only to heal any and all who have need of my skill. Even though I work for the Resistance and support them with all my spirit."  
"Oh. Okay. Well, you know, that's really great. Doctors are important." Maybe not so much on the Castle of Lions, with their… 'magic healing tubes', as Hunk put it, but back on Earth… yeah, they still needed doctors.  
"Don't patronize me," she said with a pout.  
"I'm not trying to, honest. I'm sorry for offending you?"  
She blinked, then looked guilty. "I'm sorry for getting offended. I guess you're doing something similar to the Resistance, then?"  
"Who's the Resistance… resisting?"  
"Zarkon," and even her open face grew stony as she said the name.  
He nodded. "Yeah, we're fighting him. Trying to defend as many people as we can against him. Trying to free those he's oppressing, disrupt his troops, his ships, trying to take him down one piece at a time."  
"Is that how you were injured, how you came to crash here?" she asked softly, with a glace at his injured arm.  
"Yeah."  
"I'm sorry for getting upset about weapons," she mumbled, dropping her head. "What you're doing is just as important. I'm personally 100% against them, but we need them to fight Zarkon, I realize, it's just… I wish we didn't have to."  
"I wish we didn't either," he said. "We're doing our best to do it quickly, so that fewer people suffer for less time, but…"  
"There's only five of you," she said. "I get it. Five of you… against an already-conquered galaxy."  
"It's a tall order," he said, smiling wistfully. He was starting to feel sleepy again.  
She noticed. "Well, um, I'm going to let you get some rest, okay? Concussions aren't good for brains no matter your species, and you need lots of rest before moving around again."  
"Okay," he said. "I… good night?"  
"Is that how humans say it?" she asked, with a giggly smile and a glance out the sunlit windows. "Sleep well."  
"Thanks," he said, and closed his eyes.

When he woke again, she was leaning over him, frowning. She jumped back, and her hair jumped back, when she saw he was awake. "O-oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you!"  
"I don't think you did," he mumbled groggily. "What's wrong?"  
"Well, I think you were dreaming. Your… your REM was crazy, and you were mumbling something. Something about Zarkon, I think. Were you dreaming?"  
"I don't remember," he said. He couldn't even remember what the tone of the dream was, if he'd been angry, or scared, or anything. "Can I have another drink?"

After a couple days, she let him out of bed. He could probably have gotten up sooner, but she was clearly worried about working on a kind of person she'd barely even heard of before, let alone met. He could understand. He'd be nervous too, if a green person suddenly landed on Earth and he didn't know how they worked.  
He went first to check on the Black Lion. It had parked itself nearby, in a position of repose, and its force field wasn't up. It must trust the people here. Well, he trusted the people here, and he and his Lion shared a bond, so that made sense, right? They didn't seem to have messed with the Lion at all, although every day it seemed the children of the village came to play under it, staring up in fascination at its sleek metal joints.  
He tried to send a message home to the Castle of Lions, but he had no contact. He'd have to try again once he left the planet's atmosphere.  
The village was larger than it looked, hidden in thick woods in a little valley between mountains. There were even some more high-tech looking buildings, some kind of synthetic material painted in brown and green to blend in. She showed him around, showed him off to the other people in the village, took him to meet her teachers, who poked and prodded him even more thoroughly than she had. They were all green, with brown or green or yellow eyes with star-shaped pupils, and they all had long, expressive hair like her.  
But the important parts of the day for him were the walks they went on, not even for his recovery – he was recovered, he was pretty sure, besides his arm, and that was just a matter of time. No, it was just because they ended up talking about any old thing and hours went by when they did. It was something he hadn't done since before his capture, he felt, and it was nice just to be there with someone for once. Sure, he'd had moments with the team, with Pidge, with Keith, but never for very long – there was always something to do.  
And she seemed really interested in him beyond professional curiousity, and he had to say he felt rather the same. "So… your hair. It's so short! How do you cope?"  
"Huh? What do you mean? Like how yours moves on its own?"  
"It's not moving on its own, I move it," she said. "You really can't do that with yours?"  
"No, I can't," he said.  
"Can I touch it again? It's so weird! But it's really soft. I like it. Why is it two colours? Is that normal for humans?" _What did she mean by 'again'?_ She'd probably touched it while he was out cold, when she was patching him up.  
He chuckled and bent down so that she could run her fingers through his white forelock. She hesitated before she did. "No, not really. When humans get old, their hair slowly turns white or grey from whatever colour it was before, but this was brought on by stress."  
"Hmm. Interesting." She frowned, thinking hard, her fingers still stroking his hair, venturing to the top of his head, where it was even shorter, and to the sides of his head, where it was slowly outgrowing its military crop. He needed to shave it again. He tried not to react to the sensation of small textured fingers brushing his scalp, but he caught his breath anyway. She didn't seem to notice.  
"So how do you control your hair?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation moving. "Does it have nerve endings in it? Does it ever break off or fall out?" It really wasn't much thicker than regular human hair.  
She pulled her hands back from his head and held up a finger, and a green tress curled around it. "Sure, it breaks, it's normal. It doesn't hurt, no, there aren't nerve endings anywhere in it. So sometimes it's difficult for us to feel what we're picking up, but we can't carry heavy things with our hair anyway. I'm not sure if I can describe how we control it, if you don't already know…"  
"Okay," he said. "You can even carry things in it, that's amazing."  
"Well, you know, pencils and small tools and things. I can't imagine not being able to use it in my profession. Most people use it constantly."  
"So I guess there aren't a lot of bald people on this planet."  
"What's bald?" She looked up at him with adorable innocence.  
"Um, when someone has no hair on their head at all. It happens naturally to a lot of male humans, especially when they get older."  
"Oh, no!" She seemed quite shocked. "That's going to happen to you? I'm so sorry!"  
"Probably not me. My dad had a full head of hair last time I saw him…" and he wasn't going to see him anytime soon. He probably thought Shiro was dead. _Don't think about depressing things in front of pretty girls._ "…and baldness is a genetic trait. Anyway, we can't use our hair for much besides… attracting mates, I guess, so it's not a big deal. In fact, some people shave it off on purpose for aesthetic reasons."  
"That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard," she declared.  
He laughed. "Okay, so can I touch your hair, then?" He held out his left hand, palm up, towards her.  
She glanced away, and the yellow blush returned.  
"No? Is it something rude to Telerans?"  
"N-no, it's just…"  
He raised an eyebrow. "You touched my hair."  
"Y-yeah, I guess I did, didn't I? But I was professionally curious!"  
"Can't I be curious about your hair? Even if I'm not a professional?"  
She grumbled to herself, pouting again, but tendrils of her hair crept towards his hand and twined around his fingers. It wasn't as soft as it looked, kind of a dry, scaly feeling. The loops coiled and shifted, tugging slightly at his hand, squeezing his fingers gently. It was extremely strange and bizarrely intimate.  
It seemed she felt the same, because she wasn't making eye contact again, and the yellow blush was stronger than ever.  
"That's really neat," he said, trying to put her at ease. "Thanks for showing me."  
"Y-you're welcome," she answered as she drew her hair away again, but it was a while before their conversation returned to its normal flow.

Later, he asked about the Resistance, finally. "How long have you guys been fighting Zarkon?"  
"About fifty years," she said. "We'd just developed interstellar travel, begun meeting new species, and it brought his attention. I can't say how well my people stack up galactically in terms of warfare capabilities, but we have definitely been losing." Her expression was hard, a mixture of anger and pain.  
"Fifty years is a long time," he said.  
"Ten thousand years is a long time," she answered, referring to Voltron. "Fifty years is nothing in comparison." She looked away from him. "This valley is one of the last few hideouts we have to train in peace. All our doctors and medics get trained here before we go to assist the fighters. We're completely outmatched, but we're not giving up yet." Her head dropped. "But it's probably only a few more years before we're completely overrun. Maybe only a few months. That's what they tell me, anyway."  
And yet she hated weapons so passionately. "What happened to everyone who's not fighting?"  
"Those who are captured or conquered become enslaved, forced to work in big horrible factories to make more weapons for the Galra Empire. They're kept on very tight leashes: constantly watched, living in prisons, and they _cut their hair_." Even if it didn't physically hurt the Telerans, it seemed a big enough part of their culture he understood her expression of horror. "But that's not why I hate them."  
"Why do you hate them?" he asked in a low voice.  
"Because they killed my sister," she whispered, shoulders rigid, hair pulled back and coiling between her shoulderblades.  
"I'm sorry," he said.  
"She fought in the Resistance. She was the brave one. She had the courage to pick up a weapon and aim it at the enemy. And they killed her. She died fighting them. …It was always our plan, you know, that we join together, and I patch her up after her fights. But she was older, and couldn't wait… and now I'm trying to follow our plan without her counterpoint."  
"I'm sorry," he said again. "Was it recent?"  
"Two years ago," she said. Two years ago, he'd still been on Earth, training for the Kerberos mission.  
Her shoulders were shaking, her fists were clenched, her hair coiled in knots, and she was definitely not looking at him, trying to show strength in the face of the alien guest. Time to change the subject. "You said this valley is a place you can study in peace, and it's really lovely. Is your whole planet like this… when it's not being invaded?"  
She smiled wanly, recognizing his strategy, relaxing a little. "So I'm told, or at least large portions of it. The parts us Telerans like to live in. Or at least it used to be."  
"Is there anyone in your village who could tell me more? I'd like to know as much as I can before I go back."  
"I guess you could ask the leader, Bormon. I follow the news, but I don't like talking about it. I'll have to get over that when they deploy me, I guess."  
"I'll talk to him, then. Thank you. And… thank you for telling me."  
She mumbled something in return.

He did notice that she wouldn't touch his artificial arm, and avoided it if at all possible. Was it because she could tell it was Galra? Was it because most of the stuff here was made of natural materials and his arm was definitely not a natural part of him? Surely she wasn't bothered by prosthetics, as a doctor. He didn't ask, not now, and tried to keep it away from her. Sometimes he forgot, since he was right-handed. But he did his best.  
It had been a week since he'd crashed on the planet – two days unconscious, two days in bed, and another three days up and about. He was as better as he needed to be to get home. The team would be worrying about him, since he hadn't been able to contact them yet. He'd spent far too long distracted by Elslince and her starry blue eyes. "It's time for me to leave," he told her that evening, having changed back into his armour, his helmet under his arm.  
She grimaced regretfully. "I knew you wouldn't be here for long." But her bright smile returned. "Thanks for letting me work on you! It's been an extremely educational experience and I'm sure to pass my final exam."  
"I'm glad," he said sincerely, and they were both trying not to think of what her future would be afterwards. "I'm grateful you took care of me."  
"And it's been really nice to meet you," she said. "I never thought I'd meet a human, ever, and you've been really nice. I hope all humans are like you."  
"Every human's different, but a lot of them are good people," he said, with a chuckle. "And it's been really nice to meet you, too." He paused awkwardly, then reached for her hand. "…Look, Elslince… As soon as I can, I'll come back for Teler. …For you and your people."  
She glanced up at him, her hand limp in his. "Others have been fighting Zarkon longer. Have been enslaved longer."  
"Yes, but your people haven't given up yet. That's a legitimate reason to help you, too. If all the peoples in the universe oppose Zarkon, there's nothing that can stop us. And Voltron is on your side."  
"Someday I'll see it," she said with a little smile.  
"Someday soon," he promised, letting go of her hand. "I mean it. As soon as I can." He had spent some time with the village leader, asking about the state of the overall galaxy, but even with his prior knowledge he still didn't know enough to make a concrete campaign plan. He was a lieutenant, not a general. And he wasn't even that anymore, not by Galaxy Garrison standards, not since he'd been captured.  
Whatever. He'd figure it out. He had to. He'd feel awful leaving these good people to fight Zarkon by themselves, when she said they might not last a few more months.  
He'd feel awful leaving those pretty blue eyes to face war and death alone. Well, not alone, she'd be with her people, but… without him to help. She'd already lost her sister. Was this how Hunk felt about Shae? Except with less denial?  
"Maybe I'll see you then," she said, with a little smile.  
"Yeah." He couldn't think of anything good to say. "Well, see you then." He offered his hand again to shake. He wanted to hug her, but that was too intimate for their short acquaintance, and he didn't know what her species thought about hugs.  
But this time, she took his hand firmly with both hands and some of her hair. "Be safe."  
"I will. You too."

The planet looked awful as the Black Lion rose through the atmosphere into space. The little patch of sunny green he'd come from was so small compared to the rest of the planet, large swathes of which he could see from space had been burned or covered with smog. He felt anger coil in his gut. To cause such destruction on such a tremendous scale… That couldn't stand. Not against such a people… not against anyone.  
A proximity alert went off. Galra fighters were bearing down on him. He wanted to vape every one of them, but he had to get out of here. He had to return with Voltron. Had to make a plan, find out how to meet with the Resistance leaders, find the best use of their limited resources, how to use Voltron most effectively in a ground war…  
The best use of his resources now was outrunning his pursuers. He gunned the thrusters, heading deeper into space, skimming past the laser blasts aimed at his tail. "Castle of Lions, come in. Can you read me?"


	2. Part 2: I Made a Promise

Part 2: I Made a Promise

"Shiro! You're all right!" Allura was first to reach him as he disembarked from his Lion, back at the Castle. "We were so worried about you, what happened?"  
"I was worried about you guys too," he said. "I crashed onto a planet called Teler and it took a while to convince the doctor there to let me go." It was close enough to the truth. "I'm glad you all made it back to base safely."  
"Welcome back!" Pidge chirped. "We were having trouble locating the Black Lion using the castle's power, so I've been working on a personal tracking device that should let us locate each other in case of emergencies like this." She waved a little metal device at him. "It's dormant until we call each other so it won't interfere with normal operating… things."  
"Um." He blinked at it. "That's great, Pidge, but my first thought is that Zarkon might find a way to use that against us, even with the dormant feature. Maybe we can use it on something else, not the Lions?"  
"Hmm. I suppose you're right. I'll keep working on it."  
"So any cute girls on this planet?" Lance asked, leaning casually on Hunk's shoulder.  
Shiro hesitated. The answer was 'yes' but that was not the answer to give Lance… yet. "What's important is that they're still fighting Zarkon, and have been for the past fifty years. I think we should make it a priority to help them, gain some allies who still have some autonomy in this fight."  
Lance's eyes narrowed, and he circled Shiro, stroking his chin. "You didn't answer the question, and you immediately started campaigning to help them. I think there _are_ cute girls on the planet, and you want to keep them all to yourself!"  
"Lance," Allura tried to break in.  
"I'm more interested in what kind of local food there is, if they haven't all been taken over by green goo and Galra cooking," Hunk said.  
"Vegetarian," Shiro said. "Guys-"  
"C'mon, Shiro! Own up!"  
Shiro closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed. "Yes, Lance, there are female Telerans you might find attractive."  
Lance pumped both fists in the air. "Whoo! Okay, let's go!" That was easy.  
If Lance ever met Elslince, she'd… actually, he didn't know what she'd do. When he'd told her about the team, she'd laughed delightedly at every one of his descriptions – including Lance.  
It wasn't important. "But let's look at the big picture, here. Coran, can you show us Teler's location?"  
"Sure thing, Shiro! It's right over… … … here."  
"That's not so far," Keith said softly. "But you still haven't come up with your plan for saving the galaxy, why start here?"  
"They haven't been conquered yet, in territory or in spirit. They've been fighting Zarkon for fifty years, they'd be a good starting point to learning more about his forces, his strategies, what the state of the galaxy is like. And they can help us liberate other planets, since it will take less time for them to recover."  
The team almost universally crossed their arms, unconvinced.  
Shiro sighed heavily and looked at the floor. "…and I made a promise to the doctor with the pretty blue eyes that I'd come help her people soon."  
"A- _ha!_ " Lance said, pointing dramatically at him. "I knew it!"  
"Heehee, I knew there was another reason," Pidge said. "You're cute when you blush!"  
"Hmm, you've got it worse than I did for Shae," Hunk noted.  
"I'm also less in denial about it," Shiro muttered, and Hunk pouted.  
"Well, isn't that grand?" Coran declared.  
"Shiro, that's lovely," Allura said. "Of course we must help you keep your promise."  
"Yeah, whatever," Keith said. "What kind of defenses do they have?"  
Thank goodness for Keith. "I was only able to get second-hand information, mostly, but here's what I learned…"

They were sidetracked with other adventures for a while, other missions just too important not to take, weathering attacks from Zarkon and recovering from them. So it was almost three months before they made it to Teler.  
They dropped into orbit, Lions deployed against the fighters. Allura broadcast on a wide signal. "Attention, people of Teler. This is Princess Allura and Voltron. We have come to defend you against Zarkon."  
"We've also come to see a chick named Elslince, anyone know where she is?" Lance put in.  
"Lance!" half the team yelled at him. Lance snickered.  
"People of Teler, please let us know how best to help you."  
The Galra fighters were closing in, suicidally fast. These fighters hadn't ever succeeded in permanently taking down a Lion before, and for all the robots' programming, they couldn't seem to figure out how to coordinate against Voltron. No, the real battle was going to take place on the ground. And he was nervous. He was finally here, after months of swallowing his impatience and doing what was necessary, he was finally back. Would she remember him? Of course she would. Was she still alive? What if she wasn't? If she wasn't, he'd liberate the planet in her memory. But he prayed that she was. And that she didn't mind too much he was going to cause a lot of collateral damage with all the weapons at his disposal.  
"Princess Allura… Voltron…" A quavery old voice came on the radio. "I am Elder Hamza. We have heard much about you. If you could assist the Resistance in retaking the city of Neemo, we would be most grateful. We can speak there afterwards about a further alliance."  
"Thank you, Elder Hamza," Allura said. "Coran?"  
"I've found the city of Neemo; pinpointing it on your radar," Coran said, and a light pinged on Shiro's map screen.  
"Thanks. Hold position here; we're going in. Lions, with me!"

Shiro took Pidge and Lance with him to meet with the leader of the local Resistance, leaving Keith and Hunk in the air to defend against the remaining Galra fighters. The leader was very helpful. "We're facing heavy Galra fire from here, here, and here. We're down to our last reserves of fuel and power cells. If we don't take this city today, it's going to be months before we can return and try again, and by then…" By then the Galra would be even more firmly entrenched.  
"Got it," Shiro said.  
"And what about Doctor Elslince?" Pidge asked.  
"It's fine, we have enough to worry about-" Shiro began.  
"Doctor Elslince… She's been captured," the Teleran said with a heavy face.  
Shiro felt ice congeal in his gut. "Captured? You're sure?" Then there was a chance he – they could rescue her.  
"Yes, she's working in the Galra headquarters, put to work healing their soldiers. Our scouts caught glimpses of her and our other prisoners over the last two weeks."  
Shiro studied the map, thinking. It would be important to capture the enemy headquarters among other things, but they needed to get the pressure off the Telerans at the bridge, at the marketplace…  
"Hey, so I have an idea," Lance said. "Do you guys have, like, fifty gallons of orange paint?"  
"Lance…" Pidge began warningly.  
"No, no, hear me out. So I've got my Lion's ice powers, right? So here's what we do…"

Lance's plan was insane. And clever. Shiro wouldn't have come up with something like that, and he wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or a good thing.  
"Did you catch all of that, Keith, Hunk?"  
"Roger," Keith said.  
"Already getting ready," Hunk said.  
"Then Shiro can go be the hero he's always dreamed of being-" Lance clasped his hands, making smirky lovey eyes.  
"Okay, all right," Shiro said, annoyed. "Let's just do it."  
The Teleran looked at all three of them. "O-okay. We'll get in position."  
"Cool!" Lance said, made fingerguns, and fired them off as he jogged out of the command centre after Shiro and Pidge.

The plan kept the others in the air and in their Lions, and for that, Shiro was glad. He'd caught glimpses of what it looked like on the ground… and it was ugly. Not that he'd been any more experienced than they were, back when he was still serving Earth. The nations of Earth had stopped warring a few decades back, and their generation had actually grown up in a climate of peace and hope for maybe the first time in human history. So no, he knew no more about war from personal experience than the other Paladins under his command. He was just older, a little bit, had more training – besides his mostly-blank stint as a prisoner and a slave. If he could reasonably protect them from this reality for a little longer… that wasn't a bad thing, was it?  
He sent the Black Lion into a tight turn and a dive, landing heavily in front of Galra HQ. With Lance's distraction, it should hopefully be under-defended about now. Because he was going to take on whatever was left single-handed. With his right hand. Heh. But they couldn't risk destroying the building, not with prisoners inside. He'd get reinforcements after a while, when they'd defeated the Galra at the main battle.  
He dropped out of the cockpit, landing in a crouch. "Elslince!" The rattle of Galra fire was his only answer, pinging off his energy shield.  
He charged.  
HQ was easily two dozen stories tall with three levels below-ground. It was a Teleran office building, it looked like, even from the inside, although the Galra had fortified the front entrance. Fortifying didn't really matter when his right hand was basically a mini-lightsaber. Galra robots fell in pieces, he vaulted the barrier, one jump ahead of rifle fire, rolling behind their line and slicing.  
Always thrumming in the back of his mind was an undercurrent of fear – not specifically for his mission, or his friends, or even for Elslince's current status. No, it was wondering when the next moment would be that his unremembered past would rise up and swallow him, halt him in his tracks, freeze the breath in his lungs…  
Up until this point, when he'd really needed it, his reflexes had saved him when his mind failed, honed, it seemed, from months in the Galra arena. He had to trust that.  
Elevator or stairs? Probably stairs. It wasn't like the Galra would label which floor they kept their prisoners or field hospital on – even if he could read more than a couple words of Galra without a translator.  
But climbing all those stairs, fighting the whole way… He was a pilot, not a space marine.  
They wouldn't put the hospital far away from the front door. He kicked in the door to the second floor. "Elslince!" Galra robots spun away from the elevator, but he was already plowing through them, knocking them into each other. "Elslince!?"  
Over the crashing of metal parts, he thought he heard an answering call. "Sh-Shiro?" Yep, he'd recognize that stammer anywhere. There was a door in the partition and he opened it cautiously, alert to new threats.  
Nothing shot at him, nothing popped out at him – so far, so good. "Elslince, you in here?"  
"Y-yes- Ah!" Her voice cut off in a shrill cry.  
He threw caution to the wind and sprinted across the hall filled with Galra soldiers lying semi-conscious on rough cots. The floor was slick with purple blood and he tried to avoid the worst spots. It reminded him of old war movies… No time to think about that now! He burst through the next doorway and saw Elslince, in a blood-stained grey jumpsuit, in the grip of a Galra officer; he had a pistol pointed at Shiro, who stopped short.  
"Good, good – surrender, Black Paladin, or your little friend gets it!"  
"You leave her alone!" Shiro shouted.  
"You have until the count of five to get on the floor with your hands behind your-"  
"Will you both stop it!?" Elslince screamed, breaking free from the Galra officer. "Unless I treat this man _right now_ , he's going to die, so both of you sit down and shut up, unless you want to help!"  
He wanted to rush to her now that he was free from the officer's hold, drag her away to safety, but she had a compelling argument, except… "Elslince, that's a Galra soldier."  
"Shiro, sit! Shut! Major, pass me the tefradoxymalin and then hold him still." She was tying a tourniquet around the soldier's leg. Shiro did as she said, and the Galra major did as well, cowed by her flashing blue eyes.  
"The Paladin, or the-"  
"The patient, Major! Hurry!" She injected the groaning soldier with the syringe, then picked up a nasty-looking saw. Long strips of bandages were wound through her writhing hair, at the ready.  
Shiro's eyes widened. He'd never seen an amputation before – that he could remember. He braced himself. So did the Galra major, it seemed. Elslince was concentrating, every last bit of her attention on her current task, her hair barely twitching now under the pressure. How long did they have until reinforcements showed up, Galra or Teleran?  
When the bloody work was done and the leg bandaged, Elslince looked back towards the other door behind her, as if expecting more, but the Major drew his gun again. In a flash, Shiro darted forward and chopped at the gun, and it fell to the floor in pieces. Undeterred, the Major swung at Shiro. Shiro dodged, kicked him into the wall, jumped forward, grabbed Elslince around the waist, and hauled her towards the door when her startled, stumbling feet couldn't keep up.  
"H-hey! Stop! Wait! There are more wounded back there!"  
"I'm here to rescue you," Shiro said. "We have to go before Galra reinforcements show up. Are there any other Telerans here-?"  
"They need me, Shiro!"  
"So do your people! Elslince, are the Galra more important than the Telerans to you?" Unfair question, he knew, but he needed her to get moving _now_. The Major was recovering, swinging around, snarling at them.  
" _Injured_ people are important to me!" she protested, still struggling against him. "And there are still some here! I swore an _oath_ , Shiro!"  
He didn't want to just say 'too bad' and drag her out. But…  
"You will both die here!" growled the Major.  
Yeah, or that sort of thing was bound to happen. Shiro turned his back on the Major, shielding Elslince from his charge with his body, grunting with the impact that sent him stumbling and crashing through into the recovery room. His boots slipped on the bloodstained floor and they fell together, and he cradled her as they hit the floor.  
Pounding boots shook the floor and Shiro braced himself before looking up. Would it be Galra reinforcements, or…?  
It was a squad of Telerans. "Captain Shiro!" Field promotion, cool.  
"Paladin Shiro," he corrected them, standing, Elslince still held protectively in his arms. "Sorry, I didn't get very far into the building."  
"You took down the main defenses, and that's all we needed. And you found Elslince! Good to see you, kid!"  
"Breeska, there's wounded men back there-"  
"Let us secure the area first, then you can do your thing, all right?" Some of the squad were emerging from the operating room with the Major in a position of surrender.  
For the first time, Elslince relaxed. He could feel it in her shoulders, see it in her hair. She glanced up at him, her old shyness returning. "Before I do anything else… Th-thanks for coming to save me, Shiro. I… wasn't expecting to see you again, and you… came for me, just like you said."  
He hadn't actually managed to save her from anything. The Telerans had saved both of them. So much for Lance's idea that he play hero. But he'd done what he could, right? "You're welcome. I should rejoin my team." He flicked his radio on.  
"Nah, we got things covered here," Lance said, catching that last bit.  
"Is that so?" Shiro asked his radio.  
"It does appear that way," Allura said. "There do not appear to be any more Galra reinforcements moving in from other cities. I think the day is ours."  
"That's good to hear." Shiro turned to the Teleran squad. "In that case, I'll help you clear the rest of the building."  
"Thanks, Paladin. Appreciate it."

"Want to ride with me?" Shiro asked Elslince at the close of the day, once he'd received confirmation that the last Galra opposition in the city was being mopped up.  
He wasn't expecting an affirmative answer, but tired blue eyes perked up, green hair twitched in curiosity, and she said "I'd like that. I never got to see the inside, last time."  
He decided not to bring up the fact that the Black Lion was basically a weapon of mass destruction… and he still didn't even know how to use its full capabilities. She probably hadn't forgotten, was just trying to meet him halfway. "Sure. Where to?"  
"Where are you going to go?"  
"Once I drop you off, I'm heading back to the Castle of Lions with the rest of the team. I think we're going to land the Castle just outside the city, though, so we're not going to far." He hesitated. "Uh… you want to meet the team? They've all been teasing me about you and you know about them, you may as well meet each other. If you want to head back to the Resistance afterwards, I can take you."  
She hesitated too, then straightened her shoulders. "I was hoping you'd ask me over. That's what I really wanted, I just… wasn't sure… how to say it."  
He grinned, oddly relieved. "I'll try and be more direct in the future."  
She stood just behind his seat in the Black Lion, distractingly close. Her clothes smelled of Galra blood. He wondered what had happened to her pink outfit and if it was possible to get another one for her. Grey just made her seem subdued, not at all like the cheerful girl he'd gotten to know.  
He was just happy she was safe. And despite his stoic facade, he was excited to introduce her to his friends. He just hoped Lance kept his mouth relatively shut. The rest would probably be all right.  
The Black Lion touched down in its landing bay and he stood, removing his helmet. "Shall we?"  
She grinned on seeing his hair – she really liked it, didn't she? – and nodded without speaking. She took up a position slightly behind him, and after a moment, he realized that tendrils of green hair were wrapping around his left arm. She was nervous?  
"It's okay," he assured her. "They're all really nice. Just don't let Lance bother you."  
"I remember," she said, with a nervous giggle. "He was the one who started flirting with the Princess about a second after he met her."  
"Heh, that's right. Here's the elevator."  
"This place is so strange," she murmured, looking around. "I guess a spaceship doesn't need plants, but it's so… bare."  
He hadn't really thought about it. "I guess so." The elevator doors opened to the command room. "C'mon."  
"Ah, Shiro, here you are!" Coran cried. "And this must be Miss Elslince. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."  
"Yes, a pleasure indeed," Allura said, stepping forward with an outstretched hand. "We've heard much about you…"  
"Though Shiro's a pretty tough nut to crack," Hunk said.  
"Shiro's a… nut?" Elslince asked, glancing up at him. "I thought he was a human…"  
"Figure of speech," Pidge explained. "Hi, I'm Pidge. Nice to meet you."  
"Hi, Pidge," Elslince said. "And you must be Keith, and you must be-"  
"Hunk," said Hunk, a friendly smile on.  
She smiled back. "I-it's really nice to meet all of you finally. Even Lance."  
Lance pouted ferociously while the others laughed. "What!? What were you telling her about me, Shiro?"  
"Oh, nothing," Shiro said.  
"I don't believe you for a second." Lance paused, then swooped in on Elslince, charm on at full blast. "But hey, babe, how's it going?"  
She shrank back under Shiro's arm. "I'm well, I suppose. No one was hurt in that fight?"  
"No," Keith said.  
"Ah, we don't need you to trouble yourself," Coran said. "We have a full Altean infirmary with the latest in cryogenic healing technology! No doctors required. Rather an obsolete concept, aren't they?"  
Even Shiro thought his attitude was a bit patronizing, but Elslince tensed and stepped out from behind him. "Well, I'm so happy for you with your amazing super-technology that we _definitely_ have access to on Teler while fighting Zarkon. That's wonderful. Some of us have to study for years to learn what your computers or whatever can do in seconds, but hey, obsolescence is a pretty broad term, isn't it?"  
Coran took a step back, looking chagrined.  
"Yeah, that was kinda harsh, Coran," Lance said loudly.  
Coran bowed his head to her. "I apologize, Miss Elslince. I spoke without thinking."  
Elslince slumped a little. "I'm sorry too. I've… just had a very long day, and… it's been very exciting, getting rescued and coming here to meet all of you, and…" Tears were welling up in her big blue eyes. "I'd be really grateful if I could rest for a bit."  
"Absolutely," Allura said kindly, moving forward to put an arm around Elslince's shoulders. "I can't imagine what you've been through in the last little while. Come, I'll find you a room. You're welcome to stay as long as you want."  
"Th-thank you," Elslince mumbled, wiping her eyes with her hair and following Allura.  
Pidge glared at Coran. "You knew she was a doctor! Why would you say that!"  
"Hey, I said I was sorry!" Coran protested.  
"Okay, just settle down, everyone," Shiro said firmly. "We've all been on edge today. Everything will look better tomorrow. We should rest too so we're ready to go. No doubt the Telerans will have new missions for us." He didn't doubt Coran had just stuck his foot in his mouth and truly regretted it. Elslince would probably forgive him, she was pretty mature. He hoped they'd be able to get along.  
"I mean, at least we rescued this city, and your girlfriend," Hunk said optimistically. "That's something."  
Shiro didn't blush. For once. "She's not my girlfriend, just a plant I met whom I happen to respect very much."  
"Oh, come on!" Hunk cried, and Lance snickered.  
"Maybe she's into younger men, then-" he began, waggling his eyebrows.  
" _No._ " Shiro glared at him sternly, restraining an exasperated sigh. _Just leave the poor girl alone until she's found her footing again_.  
"Well, I'm going to bed," Keith said. "Good night."  
"Good night," the others called.

Weeks of work, of fighting, of knocking out Galra installations so the Resistance could come in and capture key points, and going Voltron on reinforcing Galra fleets later, Teler was finally more or less an independent planet again.  
Elder Hamza met with Allura in the entrance to the Castle of Lions, with a crowd of representative Telerans all wearing flower crowns and carrying green branches. They gave flower crowns to Team Voltron, too. Keith looked uncomfortable in his. "We can never thank you enough for your help," the elder said.  
"No thanks are necessary," Allura said graciously. "Although if you wish to thank anybody, it should be Shiro. He was the one who led us here to your aid."  
"Thank you, Shiro, for everything you have done for us," Elder Hamza said, taking his hand with both of his, and some hair, and shaking it enthusiastically with as much strength as the wizened old Teleran could manage. "It will take us some time to consolidate our victory and begin restoring our world, but should you ever be in need, please let us know and we will do everything we can."  
"Thanks," Shiro managed to say, a little awkwardly. It was what he had wished for, the reason why he'd wanted to come to Teler in the first place, to begin building their base of support, but he still wasn't sure how to publicly receive such support. "And we know where to go next from here, who to help next."  
"I did have a request from one of my people, if you'd be so kind as to indulge us in one more thing," the elder said, and looked back towards the crowd of Telerans. There was a shuffle, and Elslince stepped out of the crowd, her cheeks blushing yellow. "My great-granddaughter wants to go with you, to see the universe, help you as she can against Zarkon. And it seems she's very fond of all of you, especially you, young man," he said to Shiro, and Shiro could feel a pink blush of his own spreading across his face.  
"How lovely!" Allura gushed. "Of course, she's welcome to come along. We'd be happy to have her and her skills with us! Thank you, Elslince!"  
"Thank _you_ for having me," Elslince said shyly. She kissed Elder Hamza on the cheek and trotted to stand over by Pidge. "I'll contact you when I can!"  
"Be safe," Elder Hamza said. "Go save the universe."

"I wasn't expecting you to actually come," Shiro said to her alone later, in the break room. "I was bothered by the idea of saying goodbye to you, though. I'm glad I didn't have to."  
"I want to repay you as best I can," she said, hair threading through her fingers in intricate patterns. She was… feeling shy, still? Was that what that meant? "For coming to help me and my planet."  
"I made a promise," he said. "I can't always keep them. But I wanted to keep this one."  
"Well, I'm grateful," she said, and brushed his left sleeve with her hair in a shyly affectionate gesture, and he smiled fondly at her.


	3. Part 3: Flowers For Her

This story is definitely not how I imagined writing it. XD Considering that all I had to start with was a bunch of romantic cuddle scenes and like one rant on the nature of war, that's probably not surprising… But hey, the fluff starts showing up in force by the end of the chapter. Yay!

This chapter brought to you by Morton Lauridsen's O Magnum Mysterium, Lux Aeterna, and Les Chansons des Roses (Dirait-on is like the most romantic thing ever).

.

Part 3: Flowers For Her

Elslince didn't quite fit in instantaneously to Team Voltron, as might be expected. Shy, unused to space travel, she spent a lot of time wandering the stark corridors softly at first. Shiro was busy with his own problems and the problems of the team and the galaxy, but he tried to talk to her a few times a day.  
He found out that his comparison of her to a plant wasn't as far off as he'd first thought – she photosynthesized, and only ate once a day. He learned that Teleran blood was indeed yellow, and that was why she blushed the way she did. He learned that she liked collecting Thundercats trading cards (and consequently that humans had not invented Thundercats, they'd only turned it into a TV show), and she'd brought her collection in her meagre possessions. She had about thirty, gathered over a decade; it seemed they were hard to come by when fighting a war without consistent access to intergalactic markets.  
But he couldn't spend all day with her, and for a while, he worried that it hadn't been a good idea to bring her after all. Thanks to the cryogenic healing chambers, her skills weren't exactly in demand, especially when they were just traveling through space and not engaging in combat. Although… if they were ever on the ground again, separated from the Castle, she could be a lifesaver. They'd have to see. In the meantime, there was little for her to do. She volunteered to help Coran keep the castle clean, but that wasn't exactly why she'd come.  
But after a couple days, she found her way to the Green Lion's hangar and spent time with Pidge. Pidge didn't mind the company, chattering about her discoveries and inventions to Elslince's willing ears, and Elslince found a data terminal and began studying as much of the galaxy outside Teler as she could, or looking through display screens at the beauty of space outside, the nebulae and vast expanses of stars.  
She also began making friends with Hunk, sweet, gentle Hunk, whose own awkwardness put her at ease. And sometimes she go to the observation room of the training arena and watch Keith and/or Lance fight… and bicker, and be dorks.  
She seemed shy of Allura. "She's a princess," she explained when Shiro asked – Allura had been wondering.  
"And you're the great-granddaughter of the Elder of Teler," he said. "You've got nothing to be shy about when it comes to rank. And we're all in this together, there aren't enough of us on this ship to make a distinction like that."  
"I… I guess. She's just so… elegant, and regal. I'm in awe of her."  
Shiro chuckled. "Well, give her a chance, will you? She'd love to get to know you, too."  
"O-okay. If you say so."  
"You've seen how the others sass her, right? She's not so scary. Except when she's mad. And she won't be mad at you."  
"Hmm. I might actually have a question for her. I'll ask her sometime. Soon."  
"Good. I do have another question for _you_. I know we haven't really had time to make you feel really settled, but tell me now, and I'll try and arrange it – is there anything else we can do to make you feel more at home?"  
She hesitated. "I know it's a bother…"  
"Elslince. I know you're making friends with the team, but you still don't look comfortable to be here." Or really happy, even. Well, perhaps none of them were really _happy_ to be here, except maybe Allura and Coran, but the humans had adjusted faster. "C'mon, you can tell me." And he wanted to make up for the fact that he'd dragged her away from her home.  
"Well… it's just… this spaceship is beautiful, but it's so cold. All this metal and ceramic… I saw pictures of when it was on Planet Eris, it was beautiful there."  
"You want a garden," he guessed.  
She started and blinked, then smiled, abashed. "Yes."  
"I'll see what we can do."  
The first contribution he made was on the next planet they visited. He knew nothing about plants, just grabbed a ceramic pot from storage, dug up the first flowering shrub he saw, and plopped it in. It looked decent when he was done, so he figured it would survive long enough to get to the plant expert. It was quite pretty, too, pink trumpet-shaped flowers and velveteen leaves.  
The others had seen him. "Hey, that's a good idea!" Hunk said. "We should have been growing our own herbs all along. You have any more of those pots?"  
"Not with me, sorry. Just got the one."  
Pidge peered at it. "I hope no one's allergic to it."  
Lance and Keith weren't paying any attention, arguing over strategy instead. As long as they didn't start throwing punches, everything was fine. "Guess we'll find out."  
Pidge smiled reassuringly at him. "I think she'll like it."  
"The gesture, at least," Hunk said, less reassuringly.  
"And if you want us to help out, just say so," Pidge continued. "In fact… Hunk, conference when we get back to the ship. I have some ideas and I will need your help."  
"Righty-o," Hunk said.

Allura and Coran couldn't miss the fact that he attended the mission debriefing with a potted plant under his arm, but neither of them said anything about it, only smiled knowingly at him, and as soon as they were done, he went off to find Elslince.  
"Hey," he said when he found her, in the Green Lion hangar. Pidge was not there, but hadn't she said something about meeting with Hunk?  
She looked up from her laptop. "Hi! Oh, what is that?"  
"I dunno," he said, and presented it to her bluntly. "It has flowers on it, so… it's a start?"  
She stared at it, then at him, and her face melted into the biggest smile he'd ever seen, with a little giggle. "You are the nicest person. Thank you."  
"You're welcome," he said. "I think Pidge and Hunk are interested in contributing too, and if we can get Lance and Keith to think of it as a competition, you'll have a garden in no time."  
"Hahaha, that would be hilarious. They don't mind?" She was peering into the flowers, feeling the leaves diagnostically. Her hair was curling around the stems.  
"No, of course not. Gives them something to do that's not connected with missions. Sure, Hunk cooks and tinkers, and Pidge codes things, and Keith works out, and Lance… gets into trouble, but it's good to have something else to do too. In fact, this could be a really good team-building exercise." His mind had begun to race. "This one was kind of spontaneous, but if you tell us what to look for, we could do a really good job, I bet."  
She smiled, and he felt light-headed. "That would be lovely. All of this for me… I haven't done anything to deserve this…"  
"Not the point," he said. "We- I don't need a reason to do this for you, do I? Don't worry. You'll find your niche in the team soon enough. Remember, we haven't had any serious planet-side missions for a while."  
She sobered, and now he felt bad for reminding her. "True. I'll do my best when we come to it."  
"I know. Now, where do you want this?" It wasn't that heavy, but he could carry it to her room for her.  
"My room… Hmm, or do you think Pidge would mind if I left it here? I spend a lot of time here, after all."  
"I don't know. We'll have to ask her."  
But as they approached Elslince's room, they heard the sound of loud banging, and the whine of electric saws. Elslince's bag was in the hall with all her things in it. "What on Earth-"  
Pidge's head popped out of the room, her hair covered in shiny metal shavings, a breath mask over her face and goggles over her glasses. "You can't come in yet!"  
"What the _he_ -" He remembered just in time Pidge wasn't old enough for that kind of language and leaned into the room.  
Hunk was kneeling by what was left of the wall, a circular saw in his hand, also wearing a breath mask and goggles. He offered a sheepish smile at Shiro's confused frown. Metal shavings littered the entire floor, particles were floating in the air – but that was nothing compared to the fact that the _wall_ was missing into the next room. The next room, which wasn't a bedroom, but a small living-room type area, if he recalled correctly. "What are you two doing? Did you get permission from Coran and Allura to hack up the Castle of Lions? Where did you get those tools?"  
"We're enlarging Elslince's room, yes, of course we did, and they know what we're doing – mostly – and they gave them to us." Pidge counted off her answers on her fingers.  
Shiro shook his head, trying to dispel the disoriented feeling. It didn't work. And just when he'd thought Hunk and Pidge were the steady ones… "Enlarging-"  
"This is just step one!" Pidge explained, stepping into the hallway and shutting the door behind her to keep the noise and the metal bits contained. She brandished a paper plan at the two of them, drawn in brightly coloured crayons. "First, we make her room bigger. Second, we install proper planter beds. Third, an irrigation system. Fourth, proper sunlamps. Also maybe a curtain for the bed alcove, since the room is bigger now. Then you can have the best garden that's ever been on a spaceship, ever!"  
Shiro could feel his mouth hanging open and closed it. "That's… ambitious."  
"I know!" Pidge said proudly. "But it can work. Allura told me that we can do whatever want to these rooms as long as we don't build up or down, or cut any of the power lines, and I checked, there aren't any in this wall that we cut down, so stop making that face."  
"O-okay." Now that she was explaining it, it seemed… _slightly_ less crazy. "Did you think to get Lance and Keith to help?"  
"I didn't think they'd be interested…"  
"Are you kidding? You're going to need some way to build these 'proper planter beds' of yours, and setting up this irrigation system without flooding anything, and you don't think they'd love to get their hands on welding torches? Maybe we should leave wiring the sunlamps to Hunk, though."  
"All right!" Pidge saluted enthusiastically, then glanced behind him. "Elslince, are you okay?"  
Elslince was blue-screen-of-deathing behind him, staring vacantly at Pidge. "This is… kind of overwhelming."  
"Yeah, I guess so," Pidge said. "And I'm sorry… I wasn't thinking about how long it would take when we started. I guess we should have asked you first, if it was okay to take your room apart. We… got kind of carried away. Now you have to sleep somewhere else until it's done…"  
"Don't worry about that," Elslince said, recovering some animation. "It's very kind of you. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you in return."  
Pidge grinned. "Give us more awesome projects! This is the most fun I've had in weeks!"  
"O-okay."  
Shiro nodded at her bag. "Shall we get you settled in another room for the time being? It's going to take them at least a few days to get that mess straightened out."  
She picked up the bag. "Right. Lead the way!"

It took Team Voltron the better part of a week to get her room garden straightened out, but Shiro had to admit they'd done a good job by the time they'd finished. Even Lance had done well, welding the planters together. They had to be watertight, so that mold wouldn't start growing in the cracks. If that happened they'd have to rip it all up and start over again.  
That first plant had lived long enough to make it into the garden, and it had been joined by a few others. Hunk contributed the most, although his gifts were self-motivated – he wanted fresh herbs. Elslince didn't mind, in fact, she was happy to take care of them. But even Keith picked up some interesting little cactus-y things. Lance brought her the closest thing he could find to a red rosebush, giving it to her with flourish and fanfare, but Shiro wasn't sure she got the significance of red roses.  
She spent less time with the others now, spending a lot of time in her larger room with her slowly expanding collection, but now the others came to seek her out, to see how it was going, to help her water or prune. She remembered exactly who had given her which plant, and it didn't take her long to start naming them.  
Shiro liked to drop by, especially. It was a peaceful place, the antithesis of much of his life since he'd left Earth. And there was always good company there.  
"You're like their dad," she giggled one time, when he was complaining about the antics of the team.  
"What? I'm not that old…"  
"I know, you're the same age as me, aren't you? But you support them, keep them in line, direct them… you're totally their dad."  
Shiro put his head back, leaned back in his chair, and rubbed his forehead. "If you say so. I don't feel like a dad, but I guess I can see what you're getting at."  
She giggled again. She really liked this idea, didn't she? "Heehee, Voltron Dad. And Allura's kind of like Voltron Mom."  
"Now that, I can see," Shiro said, and chuckled. "What does that make Coran, then? Voltron Uncle?"  
She hesitated, then nodded. "Definitely. And I'm Voltron Aunt. We're all just one big family in space."  
"That should make Lance happy," he said.  
"I know, he misses his family. He was telling me about his mom's pies last time he was in here… They're so young, aren't they?"  
"Hunk, maybe not so much… Pidge, definitely. She's brilliant, especially for her age, but… sometimes I wonder if she should be out here at all. But she's stubborn, and driven, and she won't take no for an answer. Every chance she gets, she's looking at Galra prisoner manifests, trying to find her family. I hope we can help her find them soon."  
"Mm." Elslince was quiet a moment, and looked more somber than she had a minute ago. "Do you think they realize what's going on, really?"  
"I don't know if _I_ realize what's _really_ going on," he said honestly. "This whole thing is so big, too big for us. Not so long ago, we humans thought we might be alone in the universe. Now, there's an empire conquering the entire galaxy, and more species than we can begin to count fighting for their freedom? But no… I don't think the others know what fighting a war really means. You hear their mission chatter, right? All the cheeky one-liners, the energetic exuberance…"  
"Do you think they should know?" she asked.  
"I don't know. Probably not."  
"But if they're not taking it seriously…"  
"Well, I have been thinking about it. They don't realize the impact their actions have, true… the consequences, not for themselves, but for the rest of the galaxy… Sometimes I really think Lance just thinks he's playing a videogame. Keith… Keith might guess at it." Or maybe that was just Keith being quiet and serious about everything.  
"Shouldn't they know the consequences?" Blue eyes turned on him anxiously. "They don't even notice when they blow up those big ships. It's just one target fewer to them. There are _people_ on those ships, Shiro. And yes, those people are trying to blow us up, and maybe some or most of them want to do it whole-heartedly, but… it just doesn't seem right to me! People die, and Voltron laughs at a job well done, because it's a child that doesn't understand!"  
"Elslince…" It wasn't completely true, often it was more the exhilaration of surviving danger. But he could see her point.  
"And what if there are prisoners on those ships? When you found the Red Lion, you freed prisoners at the same time. If Pidge hadn't decided to take a different path, they would have all died when Voltron attacked the ship."  
He looked away, uncomfortable. "I know. But in one of those big space battles, it's just not possible to cleanly disable every ship." But she wasn't wrong; the thought that they might lose Doctor and Matt Holt in the struggle for survival nagged at him. "But that I might be able to point out to the team without killing their innocence."  
"Oh. Oh, I see."  
"Yeah. You're right, they're so young… they shouldn't be exposed to this stuff. And yeah, I was in the military, they were in military training, but Earth has been at peace for decades. Galaxy Garrison is mostly about exploration now, not fighting. So… they didn't know… don't know… what they were getting into. No one's talked to them about death, about the hard choices people make in war. We joke about 'still being alive', but I don't think they've thought about what that really means, or that they want to." He glanced at her. "They haven't seen what you've seen. Haven't been through what you have. Haven't had to endure that level of hardship."  
She looked sad. "Is that one reason you've been so nice to me?"  
"…Yeah."  
"And that's why you don't want them to think too hard about the horrible things of the universe."  
"If they do, they'll either become hardened soldiers, or they'll become beaten down by the horror of it all, and I can't tell which outcome would be worse. So I think it's okay, in comparison, that they don't necessarily treat things as seriously as they ought to. As long as they're still alive and we work well as a team, that's enough for me."  
"Allura and Coran, they've also seen terrible things, haven't they?" Elslince said. "And they seem to be going along with your decision about not telling the others."  
"We haven't talked about it, but yeah, they haven't brought it up."  
"And Allura's lost her father, twice," she said softly, almost to herself. "It's so sad. I cried for her after she told me."  
He got up and knelt beside her chair. "You lost your sister."  
"But I didn't lose my planet. I didn't lose everyone I ever knew, except one person. And even to come here… I came because I wanted to, because I wanted to see the galaxy, because I wanted to try to help the person who saved me. Not because I went through a wormhole." She reached out, and took his artificial right hand in both of hers. He stared at her. "You've lost so much, too. I cry for you, too, sometimes."  
"Elslince…" She was going to make _him_ choke up in a second. "The Earth I left behind was a planet of peace. Sure, it took us almost all of human history to get there, we're a pretty violent species, but we got there. So we have to have hope for the galaxy, too. Even though it's been at war at least ten thousand years." Which was most of recorded human history to begin with.  
"I know," she whispered.  
"And deep down, I don't think we'll win by sheer force. Most of the conflicts in human history, especially the ones about conquest, ended up… losing a lot of lives for not very much. I don't want to say pointless, but we could have done better. So this war might end up being the same. We can break Zarkon's military, but until we change his mind, and the minds of his followers, we won't truly succeed."  
"Do you think it's possible? That the same peace that Earth and Teler had before Zarkon will spread throughout the galaxy?"  
"I don't know," he said, squeezing her hand gently. "Not quickly, anyway. But until then, even if it's pointless… I'm willing to give up everything to protect the people I care about." Grey eyes met blue eyes. "I don't want you to lose any more. I don't want you to cry anymore, for anyone's sake. Not even mine."  
"Then you can't give up your life," she whispered. "You can't give up _everything_. Because I care about you, too."  
Did Telerans kiss? Because he really wanted to kiss her right now.  
She hesitated. "Is kissing a thing humans do?"  
He coughed a relieved laugh. "Yes. Yes, it is. Can I kiss you?"  
She tilted her face towards him, yellow blooming on her cheeks, blue eyes sparkling and tender. Her hair reached out towards him, touching his face gently, and then his lips brushed against hers.


	4. Part 4: Solace

EDIT: added a bit now that I've seen S6. Some slightly steamy fluff with _~*foreshadowingggg*~_ ooOOOoooo

EDIT2: threw in some references for S7 too!

.

Part 4: Solace

He woke gradually, prodded awake by small fingers, hair brushing his eyelids. "Mmph. What?"

"I think you were having a bad dream again," Elslince said from beside him, as he rolled over to face her. "You were breathing fast and trying to speak and pulling on my hair."

He raised his hand into the air where he could see it and several thick broken strands were wound around his fingers. "Sorry."

"Do you remember it?"

"No… not really." He took a deep breath, gathering his sleep-muddled thoughts, pulling Elslince closer to him, tucking her head under his chin. "Just fragments, that's all I ever get. Sendak… Haggar… my own face, but with yellow eyes and a hate-filled grin… Everything's dark, and I'm all alone, I can't find anyone I know… I look down and my arm is gone, and everything hurts, my arm hurts, my face hurts… Even when the pain is gone, I just feel so hopeless, and helpless, and afraid." He managed a lopsided grin. "That's why I didn't sleep a lot before, why I spent all my nights working out."

"And you're all the more beautiful for it, with your strong body, but it isn't good for you to skip sleep." Slim hands slid up towards his broad shoulders.

"I was never a small skinny guy, but I never looked like this until I started at the Galra Prison Gym," he tried to joke. "Gotta get fit to get fed." It wasn't a very good joke. He'd been lucky in the arena. He'd already been young and strong and agile, and trained in combat – even if he hadn't had to use that part of his training as a scientific exploration pilot. Most of the others, that he could remember, hadn't had those advantages.

And yeah, he'd had to get stronger – if he didn't win, he didn't eat – but if he didn't win, he'd have been dead, so there was that, too.

Elslince hadn't been distracted. "It doesn't help, to know that I'm here with you? You still feel alone?"

"I… yeah. I know you're here, El. It just never translates into my dreams." He'd moved into her room a short while back. Not for shenanigans – they were still in pyjamas, it wasn't time for that sort of thing, not in their relationship, not in their lives. Not with all they'd lived through and all they had to continue to endure, not yet. Maybe someday. No, he shared her room just to be together. And she talked him into sleeping at normal hours instead of restlessly avoiding his sleep half the nights, and he agreed, because he'd hoped she would be able to help with the nightmares.

So far that hadn't been true… but he still didn't want to leave. Her companionship was soothing, and she was so patient with him. And being in her room… he could smell the earth, the plants, and it reminded him that although he wasn't due to see Earth, see home again anytime soon, he wasn't any longer a prisoner of a hateful empire, cold and bloody and metallic. And that there was more to life than the Castle of Lions, than even the Black Lion he was bonded to – also cold and metallic. He was free… even if he would never be free of the scars, physical, mental, emotional…

He sighed, still tired, and wriggled until he could pillow his head on her chest. Now he could smell her, in addition to the plants, and she smelled fresh and strange, like citrus, oddly enough. Her fingers stroked his short hair, and her hair swept over him, binding him to her.

She was alive, she was life, and he was death in comparison; she was green and he was black and white; she breathed in his arms, and her alien heart beat in her ribcage under his ear the same as his own did. She hoped, she believed, she inspired him to do the same when he was on the verge of breaking under the game face he presented to the team. Her presence dispelled the unquiet cloud that always gathered over him when he woke from a half-remembered dream, and his demons could sleep for a while – and maybe let him do the same. She'd even accepted his arm, the one she'd feared before, the one he still feared even though it was part of him and hadn't done anything _too_ strange yet.

She wasn't his cure, but she was his lifeline.

He was still a little afraid for her. She'd followed him into the depths of space because she liked him; if she got hurt out here, if the Galra took her from him, it would all be his fault. If his arm revealed its secrets in a way that got her hurt or killed… Or even if he himself got killed, leaving her alone here… taking away _another_ person she cared about…

"I'm here for you," she said, and it took him a minute to remember they'd been talking about his nightmare. "No matter how long you need to heal, no matter what wounds you'll take and hardships you'll endure on this quest, I'll be here for you. Because you're a strong, beautiful person, inside and out, and I love you for it. For your patience and kindness, your respect and determination and your scars, I love all of you, Takashi Shirogane. Even if you go somewhere I can't follow, my heart will go with you."

"I…" his voice caught, his heart skipped… "I love you, Elslince. You…" He'd been so eloquent in his head a minute ago, but his mouth failed him in actually expressing it out loud.

It wasn't like she was his first love, even. There had been Adam, and Shiro had loved him deeply, and been loved in return. But things… hadn't worked out. It wasn't Adam's fault, it had been all his. And Elslince had entranced him, he'd fallen for her gradually but completely, couldn't help loving her just as much as ever he'd loved him, and maybe he could do things right this time. But he certainly couldn't say that out loud. He just… sucked at communicating intimately, and he knew it.

Well, if he couldn't express it with words, there were other ways he could tell her, and he turned his head to place a heartfelt kiss on her collarbone. He felt her lips answering on his forehead and he moved, pulling himself up so he was leaning over her, kissing her deeply on the mouth. Her arms wound around his neck, pulling him close, feeding his desperate desire to adore her. Or was it feeding her desperate desire to adore him? In any case, this kiss told him he would – _probably, maybe_ – be okay with never seeing Earth again if he could see the galaxy with Elslince beside him.

He released her, and they were both gasping for air. She was smiling, her eyes shining in the illumination from the dim teal-blue nightlight on the other side of the room. Such alien eyes, star-shaped pupils wide in the darkness, yet so full of such a familiar love.

"Do you feel better?" she asked softly.

"Yeah."

She pushed him off and rolled him over, spooning him against his broad back. "Then you should try and sleep again. I'll be right here."

"Right." He caught her hand and kissed it. "Right here. Got it."

"Good night, Shiro."

"Night, El."

.

Their plan was set. The Castle was ready. The super-teladuv was ready. The Blade of Marmora was ready, hopefully – their alliance with Team Voltron still seemed shaky to her.

But Shiro was the first one to leave, off with the Black Lion to be bait for Zarkon. So of course she followed him down to the Black Lion hangar. He was expecting her, it seemed, and set his helmet down for a minute so he could pull her into the shadow of one of the Lion's legs and kiss her soundly. With her pre-battle nerves zinging through her, she responded feverishly, her fingers trembling against his armoured back. She appreciated how strong and solid he seemed, her rock to lean on even as he prepared to go and do the actual difficult part of the mission.

He pulled back and looked down at her fondly. "Nervous?"

"A bit," she admitted, looking away shyly.

"Me too. It'll be better once I get into the cockpit."

"I shouldn't be," she babbled, "it's not the first time I've gone into combat… but I suppose it's the first time I've gone into combat on a spaceship while the one I love is out fighting away from me." She gave him a lopsided smile. "Fly well." She didn't have to tell him to be careful, or to fight hard. He would do that on his own, and the Black Lion would keep him safe. Perhaps safer than she was. Even so, she couldn't help but worry – anything could happen.

"I will. Stay safe. …Just a sec, if you don't mind…" He picked her up, pinning her against the wall of the Black Lion's paw so that he didn't have to bend down to kiss her, and kissed her hard through her startled but enthusiastic squeak. Her legs locked around his waist to keep her from falling, and the way he was leaning into her – she felt her blush spreading down her neck and shoulders. His tongue was sliding into her mouth and she was conscious of nothing but _him_ , his body, his scent, his sounds, his strength. She had to concentrate to keep her hair in check, that it didn't tangle in his hair or something else awkward.

She was gasping for air by the time he next released her, eyes sparkling, cheeks burning, and he looked a little flushed and dazed himself. "Shiro – we – must focus." Patience yielded focus, wasn't it? They had to be patient. They could kiss until trees walked when Zarkon was defeated.

"But your nerves are gone, right?" That smile was infinitely sweet and loving, even through the mischievousness that prompted it. How could this man exist?

"Y-yes," she stammered, as he let her down. Her knees were unsteady solely because of him, now, not because of her fear for him. One more quick smooch, and they let go of each other. She backed away as he scooped up his helmet and set it on his head. "I'll be waiting."

"I'm counting on it." A wink, and he turned to vanish into the Black Lion.


	5. Part 5: Bereavement

Oh my god, how long has it been since I wrote on this? November 2016? Holy crap. So I watched Seasons 3-6 over the last couple weeks with my friend and OH MY GOD (joins in the fandom's incoherent screaming). And it gave me ideas for the fic, and I've been writing them as fast as I can. Because holy cow Shiro needs all of the love and support. All these precious babies do, really.

Since the show gets a bit more serious and painful starting Season 3, so does the fic. But there will be light sweet fluffy moments scattered around too. Enjoy!

Song for final scene is One Way Ticket by ONE OK ROCK.

.

Part 5: Bereavement

She'd been tossed about, knocked unconscious briefly, and forced to sit near-useless on the sidelines, only able to help in monitoring power levels – when they existed – and following directions to restoring them when they didn't. She'd done what she could, remaining calm, though her heart beat wildly for the fate of Voltron, out there, fighting Zarkon, and for Shiro, Zarkon's personal target.

And when Zarkon was defeated and the Lions returned, she sank to her knees in relief, staring through the bridge viewscreens as the Castle activated a wormhole to escape the remnants of the recovering Galra defences.

But not for long – the Black Lion had been towed back to the ship by Pidge and Keith, its exterior lights out, its Paladin unresponsive. When the screens showed they were safely in another star cluster, she scrambled to her feet and dashed headlong for the Black Lion's hangar. Allura and Coran followed her, and she met the other Paladins on the way.

The Lion was slumped on its side as if it were injured, but the door to the interior slid open for them. "Shiro?" Keith called cautiously.

She had no need for caution, and hurried up to the cockpit. The Lion wouldn't hurt her, and she could help Shiro-

The pilot's seat was empty. The bayard he'd somehow recovered was still left in its socket on the right of the cockpit, but there was no trace of Shiro at all. She gave a tiny gasp and fell to her knees blankly.

The others crowded around her. "He's gone?" Keith said softly, disbelieving.

"He- he can't be gone!" Pidge cried shrilly. "People don't just… disappear!"

"We've seen stranger things out here," Lance said slowly. "And that last attack, that destroyed Zarkon and busted us up at the same time… Maybe it…"

"But where did he go?" Hunk demanded. "Where could he go? What took him?"

"All excellent questions," Allura said uncertainly. "Unless the Lion itself tells us, I don't think we'll be able to find out quickly. He could be anywhere in the universe now." She bent down to Elslince. "I'm sorry. We'll begin looking for him right away."

Elslince didn't respond. How could she respond? What was there to say? Her hero, her love, her light had been taken from her, her universe had been shattered.

The others left quietly as she sat and stared.

.

Pidge didn't see much of her Teleran friend for a while. For an entire day after Shiro's disappearance, she remained in her room. Pidge wondered if she'd had anything to eat, but the door was locked when she tried to check on her. She could have hacked it, either electronically or the old-fashioned way, but this was a time for delicacy, she figured. She'd come out before she starved.

The next day, or night, rather, Pidge was working deep in the bowels of the Castle, trying to put some fried relays back together. Not that there was really a day or night in space, they'd established this months ago, but they needed a schedule, and wasn't it convenient that Altean time, though using vastly different measurements, happened to use something close to 28 hours to measure a day? 28 wasn't too far off 24, was it? And there was so much damage she'd just gotten caught up in fixing everything, it was way past her bedtime but she hadn't noticed. Anyway, she'd almost gotten the third relay hooked up when she got a spooked feeling and flinched, looking over both shoulders in fright. But there was nothing there. Well… maybe there was the distant sound of slow footsteps. Pidge shivered and began working faster.

She felt it again a couple hours later, when she was yawning at a control panel on the other side of the Castle, trying to see if there were fluctuations in the conduit or if it was just a malfunctioning indicator light. She jumped and looked about, but again there was nothing to see. But those slow, creepy footsteps were back, closer than before.

Pidge giggled nervously to herself, trying to break the tension. "It's okay, it's okay, the Castle's not haunted this time, we didn't plug it into anything stupid…" Although there was always the possibility something had gone wrong in the attack, that they'd gotten a magic virus or something from the Galra witch. Like Lance had said, they'd seen stranger things.

The footsteps paused when she giggled, then retreated as slowly as they'd come. Pidge made a horrible creeped out face to herself. She wasn't half-asleep anymore, that was for sure.

The next night, she got Hunk to come with her. Not that he was any braver than her, but together they were stronger than alone, right? Lance and Keith wouldn't be interested anyway, the meatheads. At least with Hunk she could pretend it was just about fixing the ship.

Hunk seemed a little nervous himself. "Hey, last night, did you, like…"

"Like, what?" Pidge asked, a little defiantly.

"Eh, never mind… Let's get this cover popped."

They were up to their elbows in cables and arcane tech when Hunk jumped. "Th-there! Did you hear that!?" He was nearly squeaking, but in a whisper.

Pidge froze and listened. "Yeah! I heard it last night, too!" She was also whispering, not wanting to draw attention to them. The footsteps were pretty distant, though.

Still, there were two of them, and only one set of footsteps. "Let's go check it out!"

"What, are you crazy?"

"Someone has to," Pidge said reasonably. "And Lance and Keith and Coran would just think we were crazy. And Allura's still sleeping after all the energy she expended." And Elslince was probably still in her room. And Shiro… it couldn't be Shiro's ghost, could it?

Hunk scrunched up his face unhappily. "I don't like this, I don't like this, I don't like this…"

Somehow, his fear made her feel braver. "Just stay behind me." Not so she could protect him, more so that she'd have some padding if she screamed and bolted.

Together they crept down the little-used corridor towards the sound, and turned the corner. Pidge's heart was thumping fit to burst, louder in her ears than the soft footfalls, and she was certainly ready to scream at anything alarming.

But all that she saw was Elslince, walking slowly away from them down the other corridor. There was something aimless in her walk, though she wasn't shuffling at all. Pidge gasped – she hadn't expected _that_ , not really, and Hunk gasped more. Elslince turned her head to look at them, but it was as if she didn't really see them. Her blue eyes were flat and yellow-rimmed, her expression lifeless, her hair hanging straight and limp. _Maybe Elslince is a ghost now,_ Pidge thought, and nearly freaked herself out with the idea. But no, her shoes were making contact with the ground, she cast a shadow, and she appeared to be breathing. She'd check the Castle's internal sensors later, make sure she was giving off a thermal signature and stuff, too.

Elslince continued her walk and drifted around a corner, out of sight.

"That… was super weird," Hunk said.

"I'm with you, Hunk," Pidge said. "Let's get back to work. I guess she's gotta work through things her own way."

"Yeah… I feel bad for her."

"Me too…"

.

It was only two days later that Pidge walked into the Green Lion hangar, still yawning from too little sleep, and suddenly yelled in surprise. Elslince was there, tapping on her tablet, looking like nothing was significantly different from a few weeks ago, before any of this 'final battle' insanity. Her hair was all voluminous and wiggling again.

"Ahh! Ahhhhuuuuhhhh…" Pidge said intelligently, once she was done screaming.

Elslince looked up and smiled. Pidge could tell it was with an effort, but still, she smiled. "Oh, hello, Pidge! I was hoping you would come by here first."

"You doin' all right?" Pidge asked cautiously.

Elslince nodded. "I am fine now. I'm more concerned about you. I'm sorry for abandoning you all the last few days."

"No, no," Pidge began, but Elslince wasn't having any of it.

"I shamed my vocation as a doctor. I should have checked on all of you before wallowing in my own-" She ended her sentence abruptly, started a new one. "So! It's time for a check-up. I don't care what the Castle's magic healing tubes say. I want to be certain there's no lasting damage."

"Um…"

"If you have time, that is," Elslince amended. "I know you've been working hard." Her gaze dropped away.

"No, it's okay!" Pidge smiled at her. "If my mom were here, she'd tell me how important it is to see a doctor regularly. So, uh, where do you want me, doc?"

"I brought my instruments down from my room," Elslince said, patting a small bag beside her. "If you could sit just in your desk chair here… I promise not to poke anything where it's not supposed to be."

"I wasn't worried about it until you said that," Pidge said, giggling nervously, and Elslince laughed too. That was true, Elslince was getting pretty familiar with how humans worked, but she still thought things like 'iron-based blood' were weird. Still, Pidge trusted her not to accidentally turn her inside out, and the physical exam seemed to go pretty normally from what Pidge remembered of doctor's visits at home on Earth.

When she was done, Elslince leaned forward in her own chair and looked like she wanted to say something else. "I had a question about your fighting, actually."

"What's that?" Pidge asked.

"There was something I noticed before the… the battle, but I didn't want to bring it up in case it caused you stress. But that is, often when you train in the sparring room, with the others or by yourself, you seem to rely mostly on instinct and reflex to survive."

"Um, yeah," Pidge squirmed uncomfortably. "I had some training at Galaxy Garrison, and before that I had martial arts classes, you know, but even if I'm good at thinking my way around tech, and I can see things that I can use to my advantage in a fight, sometimes I freak out."

"I understand," Elslince said. "I don't like fighting at all, but as part of the Teleran Resistance, I had extensive self-defence training. I was wondering if you would like to learn it, to add to your repertoire?"

"Uh, sure!" It couldn't hurt, could it? And it meant she'd get to spend more time with Elslince.

Her agreement seemed to make Elslince happier. "Please let me know when you have free time, then. And thank you for letting me examine you. You appear to be fine, except for the lack of sleep."

"I knowww…"

"I know you know," Elslince said, tapping the tip of Pidge's nose. "Don't let it become a habit."

"Righty! As soon as the Castle's back to fully functional, I'll be better about it. I promise!"

.

Self-defence with Elslince was deceptively challenging. She wouldn't have thought the gentle, pacifist doctor to be so ruthless about drilling. She could rival some of the Galaxy Garrison sergeants, Pidge considered a couple weeks later, even if she never yelled, never even sounded harsh. How could she be so patient, and yet so demanding? The Resistance probably didn't give her a choice in learning self-defence, but still.

And just when Pidge was about to suggest a break, Elslince suddenly made a playful growling noise and tackled her to the ground, and then there was _hair everywhere_. Not in her clothes, thank goodness, that would have been weird, but tickling her face, her arms, her knees. Pidge yelled and giggled and struggled, trying not to pull the hair.

Elslince giggled back and let her up eventually. "My older sister used to do that to me all the time."

"You must have been close," Pidge blurted out, and immediately regretted it. Elslince didn't need to be reminded about losing people, not now.

Elslince's expression sobered, but she didn't look mournful, only wistful. "We were. She loved to tease me, called me a nerd, put bugs in my hair… but she was very protective of me. She was kind and encouraging about me becoming a doctor, and she never let anyone talk down to me."

"Sounds kinda like me and my brother," Pidge said. "Except he didn't put bugs in my hair, ew. That must be awful with your kind of hair."

"Don't even talk about it," Elslince said, laughing a little. Pidge saw her hair cringe, just a little, at the thought of bugs. "But we didn't have parents, and even though we lived with our grandparents, she was more like my mom than my sister sometimes."

"That must have been rough," Pidge said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Elslince said. "My grandparents and great-grandfather were good to us. I was well-loved growing up, just like you were."

"Yeah." Pidge considered the similarities they shared. "Wait, are you saying you see me as a little sister!?"

"Is that bad?" Elslince asked, startled.

"Nah, I guess not. Just, I'm tired of being the 'little' sister!"

"That's fair," Elslince said, laughing. "I got tired of being the little sister, too. You'll find someone, I'm sure!"

Pidge snorted. "I hope so. But first, gotta get my brother back." And her dad, of course. But her dad wasn't a sibling.

"You'll do that too."

"I betcha Shiro finds him, and they come back together, what do you think?"

"I think that would be delightful."

.

Keith winced as he shifted his arm. He'd pulled a muscle with a minor mishap in the Red Lion on his daily search for Shiro, and now his shoulder was bothering him. He'd rest it that night, but he needed to go out tomorrow again. And the next day, if he didn't find Shiro tomorrow. And the day after. If his arm was still bothering him tomorrow, maybe he'd chance one of those sleep pods. He wasn't fond of the idea, though. He didn't like feeling trapped.

"Did you hurt yourself?" asked a soft voice, and there was Shiro's girlfriend Elslince – she'd caught sight of him at the crossroads of two corridors, and now she was approaching him with a worried look on her face.

"I'm fine," he grunted, trying to wipe any sign of discomfort off his face.

"I'd still like to take a look, if I may," she said. "You're doing everything you can, and I want to do everything I can to support you."

He sighed and looked away. He didn't care about being rude, but it _was_ Shiro's girlfriend – she had as much reason to want him found as Keith did. And he _had_ brushed off her post-Zarkon medical exam. "…Fine."

Her expression eased a little. "Could you come back to my room? My tools are in there."

He followed her silently. Once they'd arrived at the Garden, she asked him to sit and remove his jacket, and then asked him to move his arm. He did, but he had to wince. She prodded it a little, then rummaged around in her bag until she produced something that appeared to be a strangely-shaped bandage, and a chemical ice pack. She wound the bandage around his shoulder rather tightly, then applied the icepack on top. "Keep it there for about fifteen doboshes, but don't remove the bandage until tomorrow. If you can put the coldpad on for fifteen doboshes tomorrow morning, that would help too."

"Fifteen doboshes…" His gaze zoned out as he did the math. "That's maybe twenty minutes, isn't it?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "It sounds about right. May I just check you over for anything else?"

He sighed again. He was there, he might as well put up with it. "Fine."

"Thank you," she said, and went through an abbreviated physical, checking his eyes, his throat, his pulse.

She had finished, and he was already half-way to the door, jacket under his good arm, when she said things he really didn't want to hear. "Don't push yourself so hard, Keith." He glared at the door without answering, but he did hesitate in his stride, and she took that as encouragement, apparently. "He doesn't want you to kill yourself for him. Even if he's in trouble, he wants you hale and whole."

"I'm fine," he growled. "I was just startled at the time. It won't happen again." He noted with approval that she'd said "doesn't" instead of "wouldn't". She, too, believed.

She inhaled, sounding like she wanted to say something else. Keith hoped she wouldn't. He thought she was all right, and she was certainly the least diva-like person on the Castle – himself included, he had to admit – and he could see why Shiro liked her, why the others liked her. He kind of liked her himself, distantly, platonically, even with her crazy hair. And he would rather get treated by her than by the sleep pods. He just didn't like talking, to anyone, about anything, except Shiro, and hoped she would know that by now.

But all she said was: "Good luck. Rest well."

He nodded and left quickly.

.

Lance winced as he shifted his arm, and quickened his stride through the private quarters section, looking for the Garden. He rapped smartly on the door in a funky rhythm when he arrived. "Hellooo! I come bearing gifts!"

The door slid open and there she was, the vision of beauty Shiro had rescued from the dastardly Galra, Elslince the Green. She sounded like a medieval princess when he called her that, so he did, in his head, frequently. "Oh! Lance! You didn't have to…"

He presented her with the pot under his good arm with a flourish – or as much of one as he could manage. "Hey, someone's gotta keep you supplied. Gotta pick up the slack, you know, until he gets back." He'd been gone for two months. They'd find him soon.

She gave him a smile that was only half-sad. "I think you give me far more than he ever has. He only had the idea first."

"Oh, well… Gotta pretend everything's normal?" He went for a cheesy smile, saw a little more of the sadness lighten.

But she'd seen the stiffness in his arm. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"Yeah… It was a stupid little thing, I reached too far, and now I think I pulled a muscle. Could you take a look at it?"

"Of course. Have a seat and take off the jacket." There was something odd in her smile, something that said "you and Keith are more similar than you want to admit", he'd seen that look before, and he didn't particularly care for it.

"Hoodie," he corrected her, but did as he was told.

Her fingers were strong but gentle as she investigated his shoulder, binding it up securely to keep the swelling down, putting an icepack on it. It gave him pleasant tingly feelings all up the back of his neck to see her so focused, she was so intent and professional. It was really relaxing, together with the ambience of the Garden. If the lighting had been lowered he might have fallen asleep. Or hit on her some more. Not seriously, she was madly in love with Shiro, but it might make her smile. And hey, she was a literal green alien space babe, he couldn't pass up every chance to live down to Captain James T. Kirk.

But he passed up this one, since the lighting wasn't right, and he wasn't really in the mood for it.

"How else are you doing?" she asked, when she was more or less done. "Anything else I can help with, anything you want to talk about?"

He pulled his hoodie back on, squirming a little uncomfortably. He wanted to talk about it, but she didn't need his whining in her life, did she? She noticed, and gave him an encouraging look. "Well… I'm just feeling… y'know, kinda… not hopeless, exactly, but… Well, it doesn't really seem like we're doing much. We go out, fight some Galra, we can't form Voltron so we can't fight a lot of Galra… Everyone seems distracted, y'know? Like, we all get along fine individually, but it's like we couldn't form Voltron even if we had a fifth Paladin." Pale blue eyes flicked up at her. "He wasn't just our leader, is what this is all telling me. Or maybe just missing any one of us and the team isn't a team. Well, I dunno, we ought to be better than that, shouldn't we? We've operated on our own before. Even when Allura was captured, we kept it together and went after her. But then we had Shiro to keep us focused."

"It's hard when you don't know where to go," she said quietly, looking down.

"Yeah, exactly. And it's kinda depressing, all of this thinking." She knew that better than him; how she kept it together, he didn't know. "Anyway, videogames aren't helping that much, taking care of Kaltenecker helps a bit but… And I don't know what I expect babbling about it to do, I guess I just want to talk about it with someone who… who really gets it."

She nodded, as if she really got it. "You're welcome to come and talk any time, you know. I'm not a psychiatrist, but if you find it helps to talk, please – I'm here."

"Thanks, Elslince. That's really nice of you." And maybe she didn't want to be alone, either. Not that he had a chance, he wasn't thinking about it that way – much. Okay, maybe a little, could you blame him? "Well, thanks for looking after me and my dumb arm." He gave her a bright grin. "Say hi to Hermione for me!" Hermione was his rosebush.

"Take care," she said, smiling back.

He was glad she could smile, that he made her smile – he tried to make everyone smile – but without Shiro, it wasn't the same as before.

.

"So how're you holding up?" Hunk asked, measuring out the fertilizer for the lower-ph plants.

She blinked at him. It hadn't been that confusing of a question, had it? "I'm fine."

Fine, by Voltron's left foot. Which was him and Yellow. "You sure? You must be hurting worse than the rest of us." He still hadn't forgotten the creepy ghost behaviour he'd witnessed with Pidge. It might have been four months, but the sort of pain that caused that kind of behaviour didn't just disappear.

Her forehead wrinkled and she turned away, fussing over something with shiny leaves and orange flowers. "It hurts, yes. But the Paladins need my support, not my distraction."

"Don't worry about the Paladins," he said, sprinkling the fertilizer around. "Or at least, won't you let us worry about you too? Or at least me. I know some of the others get stuck in their own heads a bit. Not going to name any names." He coughed around Keith's name anyway, and saw a faint smile on her lips.

"Keith is trying harder than any of us," she said.

"Even if he's just stubbornly beating his head against a wall," Hunk retorted. "Brute force is probably not going to find Shiro when your field of search is _the entire universe_. I have more faith in the Voltron Coalition's intelligence feelers, even though it feels lazy." Still, lazy was kind of his thing, wasn't it? No sense in working harder than necessary, not when working efficiently did the job way better.

"I have faith in both," she said gently.

"That's fair. But you changed the subject."

"I did?" She blinked at him again.

"Yeah. Well, I guess you did answer the question. So, is there anything we can do to help you?"

She smiled at him. "Just keep doing what you do."

Looked like he'd have to pry a little deeper. "C'mon, surely it's nothing embarrassing."

"Well…"

Yes! He knew there was something!

Elslince looked off into the distance wistfully. "This would more be something suited to Pidge, perhaps, but… I miss sunlight, real sunlight. And forests. And not hearing all these mechanical sounds all the time. The air ventilation, the hum of electricity, the engines when they're in use – it's never truly quiet, even when it's quiet. Not like when all you can hear is the whisper of the breeze, and maybe some insects. I've tried the virtual reality room, where Kaltenecker lives, but it's not the same. Or going on missions with the Paladins. I appreciate it, but it's still noisy."

"Right," he said. "I can live without sunlight and forests, but where you came from – that was a huge part of your life, wasn't it?"

"Yes…"

Wait, hadn't Shiro taken her out every now and then? Had they been visiting forests or something? He'd never thought to ask. "You wanna go on a field trip? There's a little planet we passed a few days ago, green, lots of undeveloped area, orbiting a small yellow star. Should be perfect, right?"

She tried to hide her excitement, but her hair gave her away, coiling more quickly than usual. "I… I would be very grateful."

Seeing her bask in the sun, her eyes closed and face upturned to greet its rays, was almost as relaxing as basking in the sun himself. Her hair was billowing out in a big cloud around her, as if it were basking in the sun too. Maybe it was, he didn't know how Telerans worked. It looked almost like it was breathing.

"Thanks, Hunk," she said after a long, silent while. "This is just what I needed."

"You ever want to go out, just let me know," he said, sitting next to her, leaning back on his hands. "Or Pidge, she needs to get away from her computer every now and then, right?"

"Mm."

He hesitated to volunteer the next bit. "And… you ever need a hug, you know where to find me."

"A hug?" She opened her eyes and looked over at him. "You are a huggable person, but… why?"

"Well…" He looked away, a little embarrassed. "You've been keeping so much inside, trying not to 'bother' us or something, but even you can use a boost now and then, right? And hugs are good for mental health."

"You care so much about us all," Elslince said quietly. "Maybe you should become a doctor."

He waved it off self-deprecatingly. "Eh, I'm good with engineering."

"Well, I think I will take you up on that, now and then." And she matched action to words before they left, letting him give her a big, squishy, platonic hug. Everyone needed a big squishy hug sometimes. He hoped it helped. It was one little thing he could contribute to keeping everything going until Shiro got back.

.

Allura stepped onto the dark and empty bridge, and stopped short. Dark it may have been, but it was not empty. Someone was kneeling, slumped at one of the bridge consoles, and judging from which console it was, she had a good idea of who. "Elslince?"

The figure jumped, and hastily pulled themselves together, it was plain to see. "Ah! Hello." It had been discovered that there was a dedicated medical officer's post on the bridge, and it was where Elslince posted herself while the team was on space missions. And apparently in between those as well.

Allura had heard sniffling, and abandoned her plan of double-checking their course. There were more important things to take care of. "How are you doing?"

"I'm all right, really, Princess."

"I wish you'd call me Allura," Allura said, walking towards her. "Like everyone else does. You're allowed. And I'm not sure I believe you." She crouched down beside the Teleran girl. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Elslince wiped her eyes, but as fast as she did, more tears fell. "It's been a difficult day. I-I miss him so much, and I worry, and I just want to _know_ …"

"I know," Allura said, reaching out to hug her. "It's all right to cry. It's all right."

"I'm sorry… I don't mean to…"

"There's nothing to be sorry about. Come here."

Elslince's self-control gave way and she leaned into Allura's shoulder, sobbing quietly.

When the flood had stemmed a little, and Elslince had raised her head, rubbing at her yellow-rimmed eyes, Allura gave her a wistful smile. "Feel a little better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Think nothing of it. And if you ever wish for company, I'm always glad to listen."

"I… might take you up on that. Thank you… Allura."

.

She lay in their bed alone, unsleeping, curled on her side. She still left space for him on the other side. There were no talismans he had left her, nothing she could physically cherish besides one short white hair from his forelock that she'd found on his pillow. She held it now, marvelling as she sometimes did at its peculiarity to her: how it wasn't truly white, more… translucent. It was very strange that humans' hair drained of colour with age or stress. Her people's didn't do that. It was part of her fascination for him.

He'd been gone a little over six months. Voltron was still spinning its wheels, doing its best to fight the good fight against the Galra Empire. They'd struggled for a long time with the only four Lions they could field. The Black Lion had been still and silent in its hangar; Lance said it was moping. They could only do so much, and their morale was still dragging, missing their leader, their balance, their wholeness. The only saving grace was that Zarkon seemed to be well and truly gone, and the Galra, while not giving up ground easily, had ceased most of their aggression against the free peoples of the universe.

But a few weeks previous, Keith had been prevailed upon to finally end his daily searches – not because they were turning up nothing, but because the universe needed Voltron once more. Needed Keith to pilot the Black Lion in Shiro's place, and the others to reshuffle accordingly. Only Elslince refrained from trying to sit in a pilot's seat; she still had her oath, and she held to it. She didn't have the experience or the motivation to fight like them anyway.

Perhaps it was foolish of her to miss him so, after only a couple months at his side. And yet, he had changed her life, saved her planet, saved her, brought her into a wider world, given her new reasons to smile, given her heart reason to jump for joy. He'd only treated her with kindness and respect, loved her, allowed her to help him. His absence was a deep hole in her heart, deeper even than the only-slightly older wound her sister had left. The very hope that he was still alive made the ache worse. She could hide it, she could smile and carry on with life.

But when she had time to herself, she pulled out her one white hair and thought of him. "Where are you?" she whispered to the dim blue glow of her room. Was he trapped, imprisoned, ensconced in cryogenic sleep? Or was he even now fighting to return to them, and was only too far away to know how? "Do you think of me as I think of you?" If only she could teleport to his side, rescue him if he needed it, or simply embrace him and be embraced in turn, to feel whole in the echo of his beating heart. If only she had the chance, nothing else would matter. She would be home, and happy.

So she lay, and pondered, and yearned, as she did daily, for a man – a strange pale brown man with beautiful grey eyes, the only man she would ever truly love.

A cry rang through the intercom. "Elslince! Come quick! The Black Lion – we think it's-"

She put the hair back in its clear plastic envelope with trembling fingers, stashed it under her pillow, and bolted for the door.


	6. Part 6: Haircut

So yeah Shiro's terrible haircut S3-onwards is all Elslince's fault. XD (In the show I'm sure he did it himself, so they're both bad at haircuts.)

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Chapter 6: Haircut

He was unconscious when they pulled him from the fighter, almost unrecognizable when they pulled his helmet off. Elslince gasped when she saw: his hair had grown, flowing in straggling, tangled piles over his shoulders, over his face. Wasn't it a _bit_ long for a human having only been gone six months? She wasn't sure. His stubbled cheeks were haggard, his eyes bloodshot and sunken, and she could feel the bones of his ribs as she checked him over on the stretcher. He looked forty deca-phoebs old, or older, like an old man. "He's dehydrated and malnourished," she said, hands flying through her work so no one would notice them shaking. "The cryo-pods will help with that." And any other injuries his strange, hodge-podge armoured outfit was hiding.

She held her pride aloof. Shiro needed the best care they could provide, and the cryo-pods would heal him far faster than any treatment she could give.

She looked up at the others, saw the wild emotions in theirs that echoed hers. "Get him there right away."

"Of course," Coran said, and with Lance, double-timed the stretcher away. She kept pace, jogging with them – as if she was letting him out of her sight now! The others followed with equal haste.

Keith helped her undress him, redress him in soft sleeping clothing, and she tried not to weep at what she saw. So many new scars... she'd known every one of his old ones, but these new ones were awful, some of them clearly self-cauterized, and she winced at the pain he must have gone through. And he'd been gone so long... But the cryo-pod would restore him to health. She was more worried for his mind. How much did he remember? How bad would the nightmares be this time? How much could one person endure in one lifetime?

Would he still let her love him?

.

She watched over him without rest as he slept, watching as he visibly improved over the next two days. His colour returned, the haggard look left his face, and she knew angry red lines across his body would be fading to white, dark bruises dissolving away.

But he still looked tired and unhappy, and when the pod opened and his eyes did as well, that look didn't change. But he saw her, and his expression eased a little, and so did hers. She held out her hand to him silently, and he took it, gaze now fixed on the floor, black and white hair trailing over his face. Together they walked to her room – their room, although she was considering... did he want her to stay with him? If he wanted privacy, she was happy to let him have it. She could sleep somewhere else for a while.

"Are you sure you want me in here?" he asked, when they got there, the first words he'd spoken since they'd found him, and his voice was hoarse with disuse.

She gave him not-quite-a-smile and whispered "Always."

He collapsed on the bed as soon as the door closed, and she sat beside him with the lights off, running her hands through his long, unkempt hair.

.

A few hours later, the door opened and Keith took a step into the dark room. "Shiro. ...Can I have a minute?"

Shiro didn't answer for a moment, then said "Sure" and pushed himself to sitting.

"Should I go?" Elslince asked.

Keith shrugged. "I don't care."

So she stayed, and listened to the tale of what he could remember of his imprisonment – not much, again – and escape – most of it – listened as Shiro and Keith tried to figure out what had happened that day so long ago. She was just glad that he hadn't forgotten _them_ , even if the Galra had still removed his memories of his imprisonment. She wondered if it was on purpose or not, whether it was a threat or a mercy.

"Well..." Keith said eventually, softly, "if you're feeling up to it... the rest of the team would be thrilled to see you up and around again. They need you, you know."

"Yeah," Shiro said, not meeting his eyes. "I'll try."

"Okay. We'll be on the bridge."

"Hey, Keith?"

Keith stopped in the doorway and half-turned. "Yeah."

"How many times are you gonna have to save me before this is over?" But Shiro had a tiny smile on his face. Elslince had the feeling she was seeing a piece of their past, a close bond forged through trials and experiences she would never know about. Perhaps she shouldn't have stayed.

Keith paused, then answered with a tiny smile of his own. "As many times as it takes."

When Keith had gone, Shiro heaved a long sigh and let his head fall to his chest. "No rest for the wicked."

"You're not wicked," she protested, a lock of hair brushing against his shoulder.

"It's an expression," he said, with the ghost of a smile. "Probably from a book. I guess I'd better get tidied up. Will you... will you help me?"

"What do you need?" she asked.

"A shower. Clothes." He raised a hand to his face, to rub his chin, push his white forelock out of his eyes. "A shave and a haircut. Then maybe I'll feel more like myself again."

"I can prepare the first three, but the last..." She'd never... _cut_ hair in her life. She knew Shiro could shave himself, but an actual haircut...?

"I'm not sure I can do it myself," he said, his eyes shyly seeking hers. Of course she relented.

The castle's fabricator had made new clothes for him while he slept, and he wore them when he returned from his shower, his hair wet but less tangled. The new clothes' short sleeves allowed her a clear view of his arm, the definition of the muscles in it, and she watched in fascination as they tensed and released under his pale pink-brown skin as he continued to towel his hair. He hadn't lost too much of his muscle mass in captivity, and while she approved from a medical standpoint, she also approved as a straight woman. He'd already shaved, and looked deca-pheobs younger already. All that was left was the haircut.

Her heart trembled as she considered the wish she'd harboured while he slept. "Shiro... If I might..."

"El?"

The familiarity of the short form of her name reassured her. "There was something I wanted to do while you had long hair. May I... twine mine with yours...?"

He blinked at her, letting the towel rest on his shoulders, not understanding. "Sure, whatever you like."

She would take it and explain later. "Just... stay where you are." She brought her face closer to his, like she might kiss him, and her hair reached around her to snake into his dark damp locks, lifting them from his shoulders, blending the three colours. His eyes searched hers for context, but she couldn't give it to him through her eyes alone. She put her hands on his shoulders for balance, and his hands sought her waist. They stayed there a moment, then suddenly pulled her close, so she was sitting on his lap, his arms tightly around her, clinging to her with the desperation of a man about to fall from a cliff.

"God, El," was all he said, the look in his eyes sad and broken and disbelievingly hopeful all at once, and then he kissed her.

"I'm here," she whispered when they parted. "I'm here. You're here. Everything's going to be all right."

"Thanks, El," he said, and she set about trying to slowly disentangle her hair from his. "...I can see why you wanted to do that. I... like my hair short though. It doesn't get in the way."

"I know," she said. Though he still didn't entirely know why she'd done it. "I've gotten used to you short-haired humans, anyway. I-I'll do my best..."

And she did try her best, with her bandage scissors, to get his hair to resemble what it had before – very short on the sides, a little longer on top, and the white forelock even a little longer still. The sides weren't shorn to his head, and the forelock she accidentally clipped a bit too short, but he looked a bit more like himself when she was done. At least she'd gotten it even on all sides. "It's not perfect..."

He didn't even check his reflection, only smiling gently up at her. "It looks fine. And I'm glad I didn't have to do it myself."

"I'm keeping all this," she mentioned, sweeping up the longest loose strands into a bundle. "I know it's no longer part of you. But..." She suddenly clutched them to her heart, looking away, unable to tell him how much she'd treasured the single hair she'd found while he was gone. Now she had a trove of them.

"I don't know why it's important to you, but go ahead," Shiro said, and pushed himself to his feet. He took a deep breath and raised his head, and suddenly he seemed to be himself again, projecting a confident smile, compassion in his eyes. "I'm ready. Let's go see the others. I missed them too."

It was all an act, she could tell, but a vital one, so she took a place at his side, giving him a confident smile of her own. She didn't touch him, letting him stand on his own. "Welcome back."

.

"Keith..."

"I don't want to talk about it," Keith said quietly, walking past her.

She turned to face him. "I think it's important. Just to point out that you spent so much time looking for him, and now he's back, you don't want to listen to him."

Keith glared at her. "He doesn't understand what we're up against. I made the right decision. I think."

"I won't make judgement on that. But Keith... in the Resistance, we had this thing called Mission Control; they would guide us through our field assignments and advise us, coordinate our movements. They try to know everything, but they can only know so much. And if you go off and do your own thing, they know even less and can't help you. Shiro is ours, and he's only trying to help to the best of his ability."

He sighed impatiently and looked away. "I get it, but I'm supposed to be in charge of the mission. So if I think there's a better course of action, I'm going to take it. I thought he would trust me the way-" He dropped his voice and mumbled: "Besides, he ought to be in the Black Lion in the first place."

"All right," she said, and let him walk away.

.

When the day was over, she returned to their room first, while Shiro reacquainted himself with other changes around the Castle and she checked that everything was ready for him to return to residence.

And when he opened the door, he practically fell on her, wrapping her into a tight hug, burying his face in her neck. She held him, feeling his breath, his heartbeat, her own heart filling with feelings until she felt she was going to burst.

"You sure you want me in here?" he mumbled into her neck. "I can always find another place to sleep."

"Stay with me," she pleaded with him. "Neither of us wants to be alone."

"They might have... Every time they take me, I lose more."

"You won't hurt me."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. Because we love each other." She felt bold, saying it, but she felt him relax a little.

He lifted his head to look into her eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too." She stood on her toes to kiss him, and it was a kiss that felt like it would never end. His longing and passion were almost overwhelming, but hers surged to meet him, and for a while she hardly knew which way was up and which was down, so carried away she was in the feeling of _him_. His human scent, the warmth that he wrapped around her, the brush of his forelock against her forehead, the taste of his mouth, salty compared to her own people.

It was strange, to lie in bed and feel his bulk across from her, and he seemed restless at first, shifting, making minute adjustments every couple doboshes. At length he reached out to her, his hand resting on her side. It was his prosthetic, and it was cold and alien through her thin sleeping clothes, but she didn't care. She took it as an invitation and moved closer, to snuggle into his front, and he put his arm about her, breathing into the crown of her head. His dry baritone voice rolled through her, a comfort she'd been without for far too long. "You know when I was with you before, sometimes I dreamed of the darkness. But when I was in the darkness... sometimes I dreamed of you..." His voice broke and she hoped that whatever he dreamed of her, it had given him comfort, and not simply added to his torture.

Her fingers tightened on his back. "I'm here now. Rest."


	7. Part 7: Deterioration

It's funny, because the first four parts of this fanfic would fit very well into this section of the show, the big time-skip between Shiro returning and the whole Season 4 stuff. I think they said it was like a year? That's plenty of time for the Black Lion to be damaged in a random combat engagement and Shiro to crash-land on a little green planet and return a few months later to liberate it, that's what they're doing in general in S4. But I had already written it with the intention that Shiro met Elslince some time in the first two seasons, so I'm not changing it now. : P

Callback to Part 3 in the first section of this chapter. XD (I haven't actually seen Thundercats lol.)

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Chapter 7: Deterioration

He shut the door to their room behind him and heaved a massive sigh. "That was stupid. It's all stupid. Why are we actually doing this."

He felt the door open behind him and took a step forward to allow Elslince to enter, turning to face her. The smile in her starry blue eyes was bright tonight. "Shiro the Hero, hmm?"

"Ugh, don't remind me," he said, embracing her. Her arms slipped around his neck as he pressed his forehead to hers. She giggled, and he wondered when the last time had been that he'd heard such a light, beautiful, care-free sound. It made him smile widely in response, and he couldn't remember consciously the last time he'd done that, either. She was so pure and he loved her.

"You've always been my hero," she said softly, kissing him. And it was a good thing she did, because he wasn't sure what to say to that. It was a bit embarrassing, and for far different – and better – reasons than 'acting' as himself in Coran's silly stage shows.

Now he was curious. "Do… you… actually _like_ the show?" he asked.

She shrugged a little, laughing. "It was embarrassing at first, but as they get better, I like it more. Though I would enjoy it even more if I didn't know what the reality was. Still, I don't think it's the worst thing… except for how he's treating Hunk. _Lance_ is the goof, not Hunk."

"Mm." Well, if she liked it even a little bit, he guessed he could put up with it for a little longer. Just a little. Just to see that smile some more.

"And I can't believe that Coran found a shirt tighter than the ones you already wear, but I do appreciate it."

"Oh geez." He blushed, and she blushed, and there was more giggling and embarrassed coughing. Time to change the subject. "Oh! I almost forgot." A perk of having… fans. He dug in his pocket and pulled out a card in a clear plastic envelope. "Someone gave this to me and I figured you'd appreciate it more."

"What is- Oh! Shiro! Thank you!" Her face lit up again, in a different way this time. "Oh my trees, a real Ultraviolet Holographic Bengali card! These are extremely rare, he wasn't a big character in the books, but he had hardly _anything_ in the show." It seemed 'the book was better than the show' was a universal concept, and it amused him. Although Elslince hadn't even seen the show until she joined the Castle of Lions, before that she'd only read the books. Apparently the show was the humans' idea alone. "And someone just gave it to you?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. It's really ultraviolet?"

"Oh, yes. I can't see it under normal circumstances, and I suppose neither can you, but…" She hopped to her doctor's tools and pulled out an ultraviolet light, and the card lit up in glittering colours.

"Neat," he said.

"Shiro! I love you!" She was giggling madly, and he chuckled – she was so adorable.

"Glad you like it."

.

He was so tired these days, coming straight in from missions or strategic planning meetings, eating, showering, and passing out on their bed. It was terrifying for him at first, how the peoples of the free universe looked to _him_ as Voltron's leader to lead _all of them_ from Galra domination, along with Allura, of course, who must have felt pretty similar in the early days, though they didn't speak about it. And as he became accustomed to the responsibility, gained experience as a commander, the fear faded into pressure. "Patience yields focus," he quoted to himself a lot.

Some days he barely had the time to speak to Elslince, and some days he just didn't have the energy. And he'd thought being a rockstar was tiring. No, actually he'd always known being a soldier would be one of the most exhausting things he could set himself to, and he'd done it anyway. He'd just felt it was his responsibility to put his life on the line to protect others.

And even in all his exhaustion, he still had nightmares. He woke too frequently cradled in Elslince's arms, heart pounding from unknown fear, his mind buzzing with yellow glowing eyes and dry hissing whispers that faded even as he tried to grasp them, to quantify them.

"I wish I had something to help you," she said some nights. "You get little enough sleep as it is. You don't need this in your life. It's not fair."

"Tell me about it," he said. "The last time I tried sleeping drugs, I had nightmares anyway. And you couldn't even wake me up then."

She held him closer and he relaxed against her sweet-smelling bosom.

Then one night, struggling to get away from… something… his dream-body moving sluggishly, as if trapped in quicksand… he heard a shriek that cut through his mind, snapping him out of sleep and into fearful waking. "E-El?"

And as he focused, he realized the light was not as dim as it should have been – everything was lit with a white-purple glow. His hand was weaponized, raised to strike, and a charred line was carved into the wall. Elslince cowered away from him on the other side of the bed, starry eyes huge and round in the light of his hand, arms raised in futile self-defense. "Oh, god, El, I-" He pulled power out of his hand and shrank away from her himself, feeling sick. "I'm so sorry. Oh god, oh god."

"Shiro?" Her voice was a tremulous whisper. "It was a nightmare?"

"Yes. But I… I never fought in my nightmares before." He curled up and pressed his face into his knees, shaking. "I-I almost-"

"You didn't," she said, sitting up, though she didn't come any closer to him, and he was glad for it. He couldn't gloss over it, though – if Elslince hadn't felt him move, or however she was woken, and screamed, she would be dead, and he would have killed her.

"I hate it," he burst out savagely. "I never wanted it, and I can't get rid of it, and it's been of use but nothing that I couldn't have managed with an ordinary prosthetic and an energy blade." He hated it, and he feared it, and he wasn't truly in control of it.

"Shiro." He felt a slim hand on his back and tensed.

"Maybe I should sleep in a different room," he said miserably.

The hand on his back lay still. "Do you want to?"

"No. But I'm not risking your life."

"All right." She leaned against him, wrapping her arms and hair around him, kissed the side of his face. "You know where I am if you need me."

He needed her so much, and it would be horribly lonely at night without her, but he had to be stern with himself. Even though he felt very small, and young, and helpless. Some leader he was.

"Shiro," she said, and he turned his head towards her. "It doesn't matter. I love you. You are loved. We will always love you."

"Thanks," he whispered.

.

Allura asked her to give Prince Lotor a medical exam, and so she went down to the containment chamber they'd placed him in with her bag. Shiro let her in to the transparent enclosure and then went to stand guard over by the outer door, frowning suspiciously at the Prince the whole time.

She went about her business silently, except for instructions: "Look over here, please" or "breathe in, please" for example. One of the most important things she'd been taught in the Teleran Resistance was never to speak to the enemy, not to say a single word that could be used against her or her friends. And Prince Lotor had a reputation for cunning and cleverness that had spread even to her little planet. She guessed she would be no match for him, so she guarded her tongue closely. And, she had to admit, she was a little afraid of him – tall, beautiful, apparently perfectly content to be a prisoner in the Castle of Lions. He was renowned as a warrior; even with Shiro in the room, he might hurt her or even kill her before Shiro could intervene. He wouldn't do that, would he? He had come claiming a wish of alliance. She assumed she was safe for the time being and tried not to let her heart beat too fast.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said to her, his voice melodious and measured, probably reading her body language despite her best efforts. "You understand that, yes?"

"I wouldn't be in here if I thought you would hurt me, Your Highness," she answered shortly.

"You may call me Lotor. I can tell you fear me, but there is nothing to be afraid of. I only wish to be your…"

"Friend?" She shot him a slight side-eye and received a mild, charming smile in return. She didn't trust that smile one bit. She was distracted, though, a little shaken to discover that recently he'd dislocated both shoulders. On closer inspection, he was double-jointed, but it must still be sore. "I will judge you by your actions, Your Highnesss. Lift your arm, please."

He moved obediently, wincing slightly. That confirmed it. "Small chance of my being able to _act_ any time soon in here, but I will do my best to please, of course."

"I will follow the Black Paladin's lead."

"Even if he makes a mistake?"

 _Don't say anything_ , her former master scolded her harshly in her head. _You've said too much already_. And she probably had, though she tried not to panic by reminding herself that he would have observed everything she'd said sooner or later. But she didn't want to fall under his spell, become a tool he could use to pry himself further into their good graces. He would have to do it under his own merits.

"I appreciate your kindness," he said after a minute. "I know the Galra would not send a doctor to a prisoner, even one claiming peaceful intentions-"

"Especially one claiming peaceful intentions," she muttered, thinking of what Matt had told them of his and his father's and Shiro's capture.

Lotor looked vaguely surprised, but continued. "Certainly not one so skilled." Flattery. "May I ask why you are so kind to me?"

She oughtn't to say anything. But it would be rude to say nothing. What was the least meaningful answer she could give? "The Galra Empire has hurt us all deeply. It reminds us not to hurt others deeply unless there is a reason for it." Her sister was dead. Shiro was scarred for life, inside and out. So even though she feared and distrusted the Prince, she would treat him well while he might prevent others from following in their wake.

"The Galra Empire, hmm?" Lavender-yellow eyes considered her, and she felt for an instant like a specimen under a microscope, though the look on his face was not harsh, only thoughtful. And then it was gone. Perhaps it was her imagination. Still, her words had had some meaning, come to think of it – she had not said 'your people' or 'the Galra' or even 'you'. Of course he would pick up on that. "Thank you for your time."

She dropped a bottle of painkillers gracelessly on her vacated seat and hurried to leave the enclosure. Shiro came to let her out and she walked out without looking back, as proudly as she could.

.

"Shiro, are you… feeling all right?" Elslince walked up to where he hunched at his station, alone, on the bridge. She had her kit with her and he wondered why.

He blinked up at her. "Yes? I'm fine. What's the matter?"

She was frowning, and it made him uneasy. Elslince never frowned at him. "That… wasn't like you, earlier today."

Right. That. When the team had been stubbornly against him, even though he _knew_ the best course of action to take. "They weren't listening," he protested.

"They _were_ listening, but you overrode them. I've never heard you pull rank before, Shiro. And I know, there's little or no room for debate in these decisions, but this isn't how our team works, either, to be fractured like that."

He frowned back at her. "Okay, so?"

She seemed taken aback by his defensiveness. "So why did you do that? What's going on? Can I help with anything?"

"No, I'm fine." He looked away. "I guess… it's just the stress getting to me, maybe."

"Could I take a look?" She began to reach for him, and he slapped her hand away with a stubborn glare.

"No, I said _I'm fine_." Bad move, he knew it as soon as he closed his mouth. She was staring at him with a mixture of hurt and anger, starry blue eyes wide, holding her hand like he'd burned her, hair flinching away from him.

Guilt and shame blossomed in him like a mushroom cloud. "I-I'm sorry. Go ahead." She began wrapping a blood pressure cuff around his arm, her actions slightly less smooth than usual, her attitude icily professional. "I… I really think it's stress. All these politics and everything, it's a whole different world than fighting, even than strategy. It's a murky fog of uncertainty and…" All his babbling just sounded like excuses, and when he glanced over at her, her expression hadn't changed. "You're angry." And she had every right to be.

"No," she said slowly. "But I am upset. I don't deserve that treatment from you, Shiro. And neither does the team."

"I'm sorry. You're right. I won't do it again."

She packed up her bag, apparently done. "I didn't find anything that disproves your theory, so… take an actual break every now and then. Go punch things on the training deck. And… for the love of the Mother Tree, find some other solution when you disagree with your friends." She turned and walked out, still looking angry, and he felt even more tired than he'd been before she arrived.


	8. Part 8: I'm Not Myself

Also known as Mood Whiplash: The Chapter.

The song that I was listening to was Jonathan Young's cover of Shut Up and Dance, but it's not specifically a Shelslince song, because first of all Elslince isn't initiating, and second of all I use it for a whole bunch of my couples (MurShara, Quinnkuliina, HaruSAM, for instance).

.

Part 8: I'm Not Myself

"Yooo, Elslince." Lance hung by one hand in the doorway of the Garden. "You got a minute?"

"Yes, come in. What is it?"

Lance waited until the door closed behind him, and even then looked around suspiciously before he began to speak. "It's about Shiro. He's been… weird, lately, hasn't he?"

"Yes, I agree," she said. "He claims it's stress, but I'm not sure. He's never cracked under stress before. Although he was complaining specifically about political stress, which is new for us…"

"Yeah. So we're on the same page, then. Good. About the agreement, I mean. But, like… what do we do about it?"

She made a helpless gesture. "What can we do? He's not himself, but besides sharing more of his responsibilities, forcing him to rest more, which he won't like, I can't see any good options."

"Well… Today, something weird happened." He told Elslince of what had happened in the astral-plane-thingy, of how Shiro had called his name, desperately, urgently, and then had no memory of it afterwards. "It's really bugging me that I didn't know what he said, but the fact that he didn't remember… would you have any ideas?"

She frowned, her hand drifting to her work laptop, but she didn't activate it. She knew Shiro's files inside and out, he knew. "The Astral Plane is not my specialty, if that's what it's even called. Perhaps… PTSD from the fight with Zarkon prevents him from recalling it? He's fought there before, hasn't he?"

"You would know better than me, he's the one who told you about it. You think he might have been brainwashed when they captured him this time? Maybe that's why he's not… quite himself? Maybe he was trying to warn us in there! Maybe that's the only place he can be himself right now!" His theories were getting wilder and wilder, he knew, but the wilder the better, in his opinion – truth was stranger than fiction, after all.

She shuddered and shook her head violently, hair spazzing out. "I hope not! That would be awful!" She took a deep breath. "No, from what I've seen, it's really him. I think it's more likely a combination of stress and PTSD. No creature was designed to face this much relentless pressure."

"Yeah, you're probably right. But what do we do if he starts yelling out of nowhere again? I was talking to Allura, and made sure she understands Shiro's on our side, he's not our enemy."

"I talked to him as well… I told him you all don't deserve that treatment." Her hair drooped, and he wondered if Shiro had responded poorly. "I should have told him to come talk to me if he started feeling upset, but instead of supporting him, I walked away, because he made me angry, too."

"Whoa…" Elslince didn't _get_ angry. Then again, Shiro didn't get angry, either. "Uh, well, there's always next time?"

"Yes," she said, with a wan smile. "I'll do that next time I see him. Maybe I'll go see him now, if he's not busy. No time like the present."

"I'm sure he wants to make things up with you too," Lance told her, with a wink. "He's sure lucky you decided to slum around with us."

She reached up and patted him on the head, which he found weird. Would Allura want to pat him on the head? "You're adorable. Thanks for coming to talk. And if anything else comes up that seems relevant, you know where to find me."

"Sure do."

He was about to leave when he felt a slight tug at his sleeve and looked down to see green hair coiling around it. "Lance…"

"Yeah?" Elslince was looking away, anxiously, shyly, so he spoke gently.

Starry blue eyes flicked up to meet his. "When you're out there, in your Lions… please take care of him, if you can. I can't be out there, and I wish I could, but… you can."

"Yeah. I will." He gave her a reassuring smile.

.

When the team got back from rescuing Pidge's father, she went immediately to meet them. They'd sustained several injuries, but none more than Prince Lotor, so she went to treat him first. The others were mostly just a little bruised. The Prince, however, had been – allegedly – thrown _through_ multiple _mountains_. How he was still alive, let alone fighting, she didn't know. And without a helmet, too!

He did have a mild concussion – a _mild_ concussion – but despite the dilated pupils and his mentioning he had a slight ringing in his ears, it didn't seem he'd suffered any major brain trauma. Which would be to Lance's disappointment, though she wasn't going to mention it to him. As for the rest of him, no broken bones, a great deal of bruising but no internal injuries. Her hands shook as she touched him – he'd just killed, killed his own father, in melee combat. How he could have the strength to do that…

"You're afraid again," he said. "You think me a murderer?"

She paused and sat back, regarding him. "…No, Your Highness. I… respect your strength. I know it requires great strength to kill. More than people think it does. I hate killing, I don't think I could do it. And to kill with a sword, not a gun…"

He shrugged. "I am a warrior. It is my job to kill, to protect my people. Now that my father is dead, perhaps the universe can begin to heal. Yes, it was… difficult, but that goal kept me focused." And his father would have killed _him_ if he hadn't, and she could respect that, too.

"You are a warrior… yet I…" It wasn't pity she felt, but- "I wish you were not forced to live as you have, to learn such terrible things to survive." She glanced up at his face, saw a look of confused surprise there. "You've had a very difficult life, haven't you?"

He coughed and glanced away – was he… embarrassed? "Perhaps, yet it has had its moments as well. Meeting all of you, for instance."

Now it was her turn to be embarrassed, and she turned back to her task of checking him over. "How are you not paste?" she asked, partly joking. " _One_ of those blows should have killed you, yet here you are."

"I suppose my armour is just that good," he answered in kind.

"We might need to get some for Shiro," she said, mumbling a little, but smiling. "He's the only one who gives me nearly as much work as you do." Honestly, whenever the Prince arrived on the Castle, he'd just been fighting for his life with _something_. This was the third time, and the worst of the three. Yet she saw nothing preventing him from going about his life as normal. He was very lucky – skill couldn't account for this alone.

He gave her a surprised look, and then it melted into a charming smile. "I can imagine. He is a warrior, too. Perhaps I can set something up for him." The smile faded into something serious, but soft. "You love him, don't you."

She shut every emotion down, shut her mouth firmly. That was none of his business.

On the other hand… perhaps he would be able to help with Shiro's PTSD. Except she didn't trust him with Shiro still.

"What is it?" he asked. Trees, he was perceptive.

"Maybe I'll tell you later," she said, rising, her work concluded. "But yes, I worry for him. If you know anything that might help him to be… whole…"

He frowned suddenly. "What do you know?"

"What do _you_ know?" she demanded in turn. "Do you know anything?"

He shook his head slowly. "No more than you, I think. I do wonder – his prosthetic arm…"

"It was made by the Galra," she said. "I know little more than that."

"If the witch has her claws in him…" he said, almost as if speaking to himself.

Did the witch have her claws in him? Would that explain his inner turmoil, his mood swings? "Whether she does or not, leave him alone, Your Highness."

The look he gave her was calculating. "Or else? You'll hurt me? Don't you have an oath to uphold? Would you break it for him?"

Would she give up her oath to protect Shiro? Her oath was practically her life – if she broke it, she didn't deserve to be trusted as a doctor again. Would she dare harm another person, maybe kill someone, to save Shiro? It was not a question of how. She could utterly destroy a person with her medical knowledge. But could she? And live the rest of her life with the knowledge? And as a pariah?

"In short, yes."

Unexpectedly, he smiled. "You, too, have strength, Elslince of Teler." She stared at him. How was that a good thing? "You are a good friend to have."

"We are not friends yet," she said firmly. "But," she went on more gently, "I think can allow you to be an ally."

He accepted that with another charming smile, and she felt herself begin to trust him a little more. Against her better judgement.

.

He saw Elslince in a hall when he returned from Lotor's Kral Zera, and she looked unhappy, frowning a little, her hair coiling in that particular way. She didn't acknowledge him as she approached, and it felt like the bottom dropped out of his stomach when she passed him and he realized that she wasn't going to at all. "You're upset again."

She spun, hair coiling tighter. "Yes."

"But it was the right thing to do," he pleaded with her.

She took a deep breath, folding her arms. "It was. I fully acknowledge that. And I'm still angry. You said you would try harder with the team and you didn't. And for _me_. You didn't tell me anything. You didn't even leave a message to explain."

He bowed his head. "I-I'm sorry."

Her voice was gentle and sad. "You never used to have to be sorry. I want to help you, Shiro, I love you, but you're the one shutting me out."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. What else was there to say? He didn't know what was going to happen in the future. He couldn't make any promises.

He heard her walking away and felt his heart constrict.

.

"Hey, El," Lance hailed her, not even out of armour yet. "Can I, uh, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"What's the matter?" she asked.

Lance did that looking-around-suspiciously thing, then turned to her with a serious face, walking with her towards the lounge. "Shiro said something odd again today, thought I should tell you. He was asking me about what he said in the void, but I didn't hear, and he doesn't remember, like I said before, so I asked him why he was asking, and he kind of frowned at the floor and said he felt confused… and "like I'm not myself"."

She shivered. "That's definitely worrying."

"I told him it was probably just lack of oxygen, but that was just so he wouldn't worry more about it. I don't know, was dismissing it the wrong thing to do? I think there's definitely something up, and the fact that I don't know what it is is driving me _crazy_."

"Mm." Her too, but she was thinking, her hair waving absentmindedly in loose swirls. "I've been trying to find a pattern in the times that he gets angry, or acts without our consensus, I'm sure it's connected, but it's so unclear. Do you think maybe he couldn't fully appear in the Astral Plane because he's 'not feeling himself'? Even if most of the time he seems completely himself, completely normal, mental issues can strongly affect the subconscious."

"Sure, sounds logical to me." Lance laced his fingers behind his head, blew out a sigh beside her. "You ever think Lotor was right about him?"

"I don't know. It's a frightening thought."

"No kidding. And what would we do about it, anyway?"

"Perhaps there's some disconnect between his conscious mind and his unconscious mind, something done to him during his capture, and his unconscious mind was the only part able to appear in the Astral Plane, and the conscious part therefore couldn't remember."

Lance nodded confidently. "I'll buy it. Look, if he says anything else, I'll let you know. I just thought I'd tell you this bit since he just told me while we were all busy passing out from oxygen deprivation."

"Thanks, Lance. I appreciate it."

"We'll figure it out," he told her confidently.

.

He tried to spend more time with her, at least a bit, in between missions, but though she treated him pleasantly enough, she was still subtly pulling away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, eventually. "I've been good, I promise."

"It's nothing," she said, evasively, and immediately he got suspicious. What could be wrong that she wouldn't want to tell him?

"Come on, what is it?"

She looked troubled. "Shiro…"

"Tell me!" Fear and suspicion were welling up in him. What was she up to? He backed her against the wall and slammed his prosthetic hand into it beside her. She flinched, but he was so upset, he barely noticed. "What's going on!?"

"Shiro, you're scaring me," she said quietly, in an artificially calm voice, and he inhaled sharply. She was afraid – _of him_ – whom she should never be afraid of – and she was still so in control of herself. He was afraid of nebulous misgivings and he had lost all control.

As he stared, frozen and in shock, she went on, still in that quiet voice. "I'm worried about _you_ , Shiro. That's why I don't want to talk about it, because I know it will worry you back, and you can't do anything about it. If I'm worrying about you, and you're worrying about me worrying about you, we'll be caught in an infinite feedback loop of worry, and no one needs that. You need to focus on the war, not me. I would still like attention, as your girlfriend, but not at the cost of the universe." She reached up to touch the arm leaning against the wall beside her. "I know you want to take everything on yourself, but you can't. Let me carry this myself. It's how I can support you. If there's something you can help with, I promise we'll talk about it."

He crumbled at her feet. "Oh god… That's… I'm sorry." He balled up his fists and pushed the heels of his palms against his eyes. "I just keep messing up. I don't know what's going on."

"I think it's PTSD," she said, and he felt green hair descending over him in enveloping tendrils. "It's all right. We'll get through it. Just trust me. Trust us, like you always have."

Even though he'd let them down so many times in the last months, strained the trust between all of them and him. His last barriers collapsed and as slender green arms slipped around him, he felt tears leak from his eyes, felt his shoulders begin to shake. "Oh god. Oh god, El. I'm… scared."

"I know." Her soothing words flowed into his ears like water, quieting his soul. "I know. I love you, Shiro. Just breathe. Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in…"

He leaned into her, hiding in her hair, just for a short while. He could be a leader later. Right now… she was giving him his life back once again.

.

Things seemed better after that. He knew where she stood with him, and she could rest assured that he would trust her from now on. She smiled more when she spoke to him, and his own worries about himself, their mission with Voltron, seemed to be easier to deal with now.

It shouldn't even have to be a conflict inside him, between control – over himself, his situation, whatever – and respect for the people around him. It never used to be. "Patience yields focus," he said to himself frequently, still, but with a different intention now – to try to relax into the circumstances around him, to be the leader the team needed him to be. To be the man he used to be. To be the man Elslince knew he was.

He still felt a niggling feeling that something was wrong, but he couldn't deal with it if he didn't know what it was. He'd mentioned it to Lance already, and Lance had surely told Elslince, and until it became a problem, he would work around it.

The dishwasher was broken at that moment, and neither Pidge nor Hunk nor Coran was free enough to look at it. So tonight Elslince was on dishes duty, and he'd volunteered to join her – she washed and he dried. It was quiet, methodical, and disgustingly domestic, and he loved it. And he'd brought a laptop playing a deep-space captured recording of Earth pop radio Pidge had made a year ago. The audio quality wasn't great, but it was music he vaguely knew, and it was better than nothing.

She yawned. "Mmh, I'm tired today."

"Hi Tired, I'm Shiro," he answered without missing a beat.

She blinked at him blankly for a moment, then burst out laughing way too hard at the mouldy old joke. "That's hilarious!"

"It's terrible," he said, but he couldn't help grinning at her response. "You hadn't heard something like that before?"

"No, never."

"It's a common joke on Earth. I used to drive Keith crazy with that one. He would get so mad…"

She giggled. "I can imagine. He's so serious. I wonder how he's doing…"

"He's tough. But yeah, I wonder too. Probably off being a space-ninja again."

"A space-what?"

So he had to explain all about ninja, both the historical shinobi and the nerdy pop culture interpretation. "In conclusion, Keith is probably a space-ninja, the Blade of Marmora are all space-ninja, and don't tell Lance, we don't need a diplomatic incident."

"Oh, I already figured out they were all space-ninja, it's cool," Lance said, leaning in the doorway. "Aren't you guys supposed to be doing dishes? Aren't you done yet?"

"No, do you need us?" Shiro asked, going into alert.

Lance waved his hands peacefully. "Nah, just wondering why you were still in here. How do you know so much about ninja?"

Shiro blushed a little. "I used to watch a lot of ninja/shinobi/samurai movies when I was a kid. Kinda funny, I used to be a lot like Keith when I was in my early teens."

"No way, really?" Lance looked goggle-eyed at him, and Elslince was giggling again.

"Heh, yeah. Used to get in fights at school. Didn't play hooky, my parents would _not_ have stood for that… but I wasn't the greatest kid either. Didn't really calm down until I got into Galaxy Garrison and they beat some discipline into me. Not literally," he added hastily, seeing Elslince starting to look worried.

"Is that why you're so protective of him?" she asked.

"Mm." He nodded.

Lance cleared his throat. "Fascinating as this is… _dishes_."

"All right, all right." Shiro laughed and picked up another plate to dry. The song on the radio changed and he began to bob his head to the vaguely familiar tune. "Hey, I think we used to listen to this one in high-school." Something cheesy and cheerful about dancing the night away, like a thousand others, yet this one somehow stuck with him better than the others.

Lance snickered. "You've got shit taste in music, _Dad_."

"I have great taste in music," Shiro countered confidently. "Also I'm only eight years older than you."

"Your hair's already going grey."

"That's because you're a little shit."

Elslince couldn't wash dishes, she was laughing so hard. He laughed with her and took her soapy hands for a dance. The song was about dancing, anyway. "C'mon."

"Shiro, I don't know how to dance!"

"Neither do I. It's fine. Just… kinda… wiggle to the beat of the music."

"Oh my god, you're both the worst," Lance said. "I'm out!"

Elslince was still laughing and blushing bright yellow, but surely this was a form of heaven – she was there before him, green and warm and alive, her blue eyes sparkling like a whole sea of stars. Her hands were dainty in his big rough ones, and he raised one and tried clumsily to spin her. She followed in confusion, gasping a little in delight as he pulled her closer, into a better dancing position, one arm around her, the other holding her hand. And they just grooved to the beat together, it was an easy energetic beat, and her hair grooved too, which was fascinating. Her smile was blinding in her simple joy in their motion.

She came to rest in his arms as the song ended, their foreheads touching, her hair carefully brushing over his shoulders, starry eyes looking up into his own. His heart was beating faster than it should have been as her arms slid up around his neck and she stretched up for a kiss.

"But seriously, Lance is right, dishes," he whispered when they parted.

She giggled and stepped away, back to the sink. He returned to drying. For the evening, all was well with the universe.


	9. Part 9: Ad Astra Obumbratio

[All the spoilers for S6] And I'M DONE until S7 comes out! I hope it comes out soon, and I hope I don't have to rewrite anything! XD And with the end of this chapter maybe an explanation for why Keith just dumped Shiro on the ground at the end of Episode 7 so he could stand up to be part of the Season Finale Group Pose™. Btw do you guys think Shiro's eyes are actually brown now, or are they the same colour as before just they look brown compared to his new hair colour? EDIT: S7 confirmed they are still grey.

Btw I low-key ship Sheith (at least one-sided, from Keith's side) (but I also ship Lallura) (but I also also ship Klance) (too many viable ships in this fandom)

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Chapter 9: Ad Astra Obumbratio

"Hey, Elslince." His voice resonated in her radio, and she smiled to hear it.

"Yes, Shiro?"

"Coran's going to run a game, sounds like Dungeons and Dragons, and I'm playing – do you want to come join us? Hunk and Pidge are here too."

"What's Dungeons and Dragons? What's a dragon, actually? Doesn't sound like a game at all."

"It's – nevermind, it'll take too long to explain. It's actually called Monsters and Mana. You'll see when you get here."

"I have a bit more work to do, but I'll come watch while I do it." She was still behind on filing her last combat zone records, and she wanted to get them done today, before they had a chance to go back _into_ combat. And there had been Shiro's strange PTSD attack during Sendak's assault on the shield facility, even though there wasn't anything there that ought to have triggered it… She was still trying to figure out what had gone on there, delicately, without triggering him again – hopefully without him even realizing she was trying to investigate. She didn't think being present while he played a game would reveal anything, quite the opposite in fact, but… he sounded cheerful, and it had been too long since she'd had an extended period of time to be with him.

She came and sat in the corner, and listened, and giggled to herself at what she heard, and finished her filing, and watched them roll strange dice and yell strange words. She winced as Shiro's character perished in a Natural 1, snorted when he said "shit" in response and then covered his mouth, though Pidge didn't react to his language, laughed as Lance distracted the Coranic Dragon, cheered as they defeated the boss and celebrated an imaginary adventure well completed.

"Another game?" Coran asked, after Pidge, Hunk, and Allura had gone and only Lance and Shiro were left.

"Sure, yeah, whatever," Lance said flatly, all his joy gone with Allura.

"Elslince?" Coran looked over at her, inviting her in.

"All right," she said, her hair curling with curiosity. "It doesn't seem too hard, not with such a good guide – I mean, Loremaster." She smiled at Coran, who seemed both proud and embarrassed by the praise as he handed her one of the character pads.

"Why, thank you, Elslince. It's not the easiest part, but I always had rather an inclination for it."

"I think I'll roll another Paladin," Shiro mused, interrupting the moment and making Coran pratfall. "What will you be, El?"

"Hmmm." She scanned the list of classes on the pad. "I think I'll roll cleric. What do you think, Shiro?"

"That sounds fine," Shiro said. "We'll need one since Hunk – er, Block left."

"You two are the most boring," Lance moaned.

"I'm scared to play something else!" she protested. "At least I know what I'm doing as a healer!"

"Yeah, same here," Shiro said. "I guess if we're doing kind of a stand-alone, I'll need a different backstory?"

"No, you can still play Shiro – that is, the same character, just this will happen in between the adventures with the others who left," Coran assured him. "Lance, if you like playing Ninja-Assassin, you can keep playing as Pike, too."

"Yeah, sure, whatever." But Lance was starting to perk up again. He was in pain, she could tell, but he could be distracted at least a little. "But next time, El, you're rolling, like, Mage or something. At least something that makes explosions."

"All right, all right." She held up her hands disarmingly. "Maybe Lia – er, my character – will branch out next time. Ooh, I think I'll be a Lapine girl, what do you think, Shiro?"

He smiled and said "Sounds good."

.

They met the Altean pod in the main vehicle hangar, and as Keith jumped out of the cockpit, what Lance had been talking about on the bridge became evident. Keith had left a boy, and returned a man. Not just from the strange confidence and maturity of his spirit that she saw on his face, but physically, while still tall and lean and wiry, he'd broadened in the shoulders, in the muscle she saw under the armour. How was it possible? They'd only last seen him a few months ago. She would have assumed it to be a strange human growth spurt, but for the reactions of the others.

While they headed back to the bridge en masse, impatiently holding in their questions, Elslince turned and noticed the teal-coloured 'wolf', as Hunk called it, was following her. No, it couldn't be following her, it followed Keith, didn't it? But it was padding along quite closely behind her, and it was definitely looking at _her_. Was it just because she'd turned around? She looked forward again, then glanced again. It hadn't looked away. She looked forward again, more than a little unsettled.

When they arrived on the bridge, she was distracted from Shiro and Keith's mother – _Keith's mother?_ – introducing themselves to each other, by the fact the wolf was sniffing her hair. She jumped and pulled her hair away, and it sneezed. It was a very large wolf!

"Hey!" Keith ordered. "Down, boy!" The wolf huffed, but backed off. "Sorry," Keith said to her, with a faint smile. "I guess he likes you."

She smiled nervously back at the wolf, as it stared at her with unblinking yellow eyes. "He's lovely, I'm just slightly intimidated, is all."

"Don't worry," Keith assured her. "He might look fierce, but he's very loyal to those he calls friends."

"Sounds like his master," she said, making Keith turn a shade pinker.

"Wait a minute!" Lance exclaimed shrilly. "This is nuts! You come back with your mom, a wolf, and an _Altean!?_ "

.

"Think of what we experienced in the quintessence field," Lotor implored Allura, reaching for her hand, acting every part of her charming lover. But now they all knew it was acting, or at least it mostly was.

Allura's eyes blazed with betrayed rage, and she seized the hand that touched hers, hurling him over her head and straight onto his beautiful face. Elslince wanted to cheer in the dead silence that followed, not for the violence, but for Allura's strength of spirit.

And then hell broke loose, alarms blaring, intruders in the hangar – and Shiro cried out as in desperate pain and fell to his knees, clutching his head. She and Hunk knelt beside him as he groaned and grunted in pain, struggling against something she couldn't see. She couldn't see his face, but his fingers were digging into his scalp, as if he wanted to press them right into his brain. Thank goodness Lance was taking charge, all she could focus on was Shiro, the tension in his shoulders, his neck, his jaw, his fingers. She had no idea what was going on with him medically, and all she could do was call his name with a hand resting on his back, trying to hold onto her own terror and alarm. His heart was racing, his blood pressure surely elevated.

And then his head snapped up with an angry growl, sending Hunk flying backwards into Coran with a single punch. She gasped and screamed and flinched away as Lance stepped over her protectively. "Shiro, what are you- ungh!" Shiro sent him flying as well.

But in that moment, she'd seen a light in his eyes that was not his own. Something was controlling him. In that one horrible moment, everything became clear: the witch did have her claws in him.

Shiro materialized his bayard, flinging it at Allura, who dodged over to Romelle. But Shiro was already lunging after her, fist poised to strike. Not with its deadly glowing power, but none of them wanted to get hit by it all the same.

Allura was down. Romelle, who was clearly not a fighter to begin with, was down. Elslince stood alone before the door. She could not fight Shiro and hope to win, even if she were not emotionally compromised by their relationship. She couldn't run from Shiro, even if she got the door open in time. He was faster, and stronger, and while his mind was controlled, he would hurt her without mercy.

But Shiro wouldn't want her to roll over and let anyone, especially him, hurt her. And she herself wasn't keen on getting hurt. So she dropped into a combat stance, fists before her. Somehow, she kept her voice steady, even as she begged with all her heart. "Shiro… I love you. Don't do this." His hostile, furious expression didn't change, and he came for her.

It was a very short fight. She didn't even remember the end of it.

.

He knew what to do – running, jumping, slashing, punching – everything he could do, to defeat his enemy. He felt strangely detached, as if someone else were pointing him in a direction and telling him to go. He didn't question it. It wasn't even a question of it being easier not to – he simply didn't think of it. He seemed to know the person he was fighting, but the words that came from his mouth were not ones that he consciously formed in his brain before saying them.

His enemy was fallen to the lowest platform of the facility, too tired to reach his Galran blade. He landed before him heavily, raised his arm's energy sword to strike with a snarl.

The man blocked his attack at the last moment, reaching his blade and rolling onto his back. Rather than go for something clever to get around the block, he opted to simply press harder, using his superior weight and strength to overpower the smaller man. He'd kill him eventually.

"Shiro, please," the man sobbed as he strained against him. "You're my brother."

" _I love you_."

For a brief instant, the words penetrated the fog around his brain. He- he also loved-

But the moment was gone, and he felt his mouth saying more words. "Just let go, Keith. You don't have to fight anymore. By now, the team's already gone. I saw to it myself."

The blade was burning the man's face, and he howled and twisted suddenly, knocking him back. There was a sudden searing pain in his right arm and when he looked, nearly all the mechanical part was gone. And abruptly, the presence lifted from his head. He hadn't even known everything was clouded until it was clear again.. He fell to his knees, gritting his teeth against the intense pain as the- as Keith rose to his feet, a heartbroken look in his face.

Shiro – _his name was Shiro_ – called out to him, brokenly. "Keith…?"

Keith… his little brother, by adoption if not by genetics but it didn't matter, he loved him as fiercely as any blood brother could – and he'd just been doing his damnedest to kill him. Pride and love, that Keith had survived, that Keith had _won_ and saved him too, were drowned in the tsunami of guilt crashing over him.

He'd hurt Keith, mind, body, and soul. He'd hurt them all – every single person in the universe he'd ever cared about. Even knowing his mind had been controlled – it was no excuse, he'd been too weak to prevent it, he should have been stronger, he should have- He'd knocked out Hunk, and Coran, and Lance, and Allura, and Romelle, and – and Elslince… And before he left, he'd released some kind of virus onto the castle, designed to kill it and everyone aboard. Oh god, Elslince… Warm, beautiful, caring Elslince, who'd followed him into space because she loved him, she might be dead by now, a cold, asphyxiated corpse or blasted into atoms. They all might. And the universe would fall to evil without Voltron and its Paladins, and yet that thought seemed distant and unimportant compared to the fact that they were dead _because of him_.

And the last realization struck him – all the clones above, in their tanks – his vague, drug-fogged memories of escaping from the Galra – from a _tank_ – the code word he'd overheard while escaping, Kurōn, Japanese for 'clone' – _he_ was a clone too. He wasn't the real Shiro. Couldn't have been. Impossible. Shiro would never have given up, never hurt his friends. He didn't deserve the Black Paladin armour he wore. He wasn't Shiro. Never was the man Elslince thought he was. She'd loved him as truly as she loved the real Shiro, and he'd betrayed her by his existence. Only an imposter, only nothing. Less than nothing.

But even nothing could have feelings. He'd loved them all, even on borrowed memories, loved Elslince, and failed them all to their deaths.

Maybe only Keith was left by now. And Keith would die here, in this facility collapsing into a molten planet or wherever the hell they were. He couldn't save his little brother anymore. And his brother couldn't save him.

He could feel his consciousness fading as the platform slipped sideways under him, dimly heard Keith call " _Shiro!_ ". His connection to his puppetmaster had been the only thing keeping him alive, once they took over. That was all right. He deserved to die…

If only he could see them – see _her_ one more time… and tell her he was… sorry…

.

Elslince was waiting anxiously in the shot-up hangar for the Black Lion transit pod to arrive, and breathed a sigh of relief when it did. Coran was there to help open it, and there he was – Shiro.

But seeing him only made her more afraid for him. He lay deathly still, his face pale and bruised, his mechanical arm sliced away cleanly. She checked his pulse. Barely there. "We have to get him to a cryopod right away," she said to Coran. "He's on the verge of death."

And when she checked the pod's readings, she gasped. His mind was dark, all upper brain functions unresponsive and blank. He was a vegetative shell. What had happened out there?

At least she could be glad that his arm was gone, that he was not showing any sign of being controlled, that he would never be controlled again, if her hypothesis was correct. If he ever came back, he would be his own loving, dorky self again. But… looking at the console… that didn't seem likely. She'd seen soldiers, Resistance members, in this state. Many of them never woke up, she knew, and those that did were not themselves.

He'd left her twice already. The third time would probably be forever.

She wouldn't mourn him yet. Not until the battle was done. And she couldn't watch over him, not while the castle was still in need of careful attention. He would be safe in the cryopod until she could return. If nothing else, his body wouldn't die.

She pressed a gentle kiss to the front of his pod, where he hung looking dead already. "Hang on," she whispered, and then ran to help Coran.

.

To evacuate… to leave the ship that had been her home for nearly two years… Her garden that her friends had gathered for her, grown with her… it was heartbreaking. She helped Krolia load Shiro's cryopod onto the Black Lion, then dashed to her room to collect what she could bring in ten minutes or less.

Her medical kit, her clothes, Shiro's hair, her card collection, her main laptop, the photo album she'd been making, she swept it all into the duffel-bag she'd brought with her when she arrived. What else? "Bring your blankets and pillows," she said into the radio, adding to the radio chatter of things not to forget. They couldn't know when they'd next find proper beds, did they? Even if the temperature inside the Lions was steady, it would be nice to be comfortable, too. And they had new people with them, too. They'd have to share.

She couldn't bring her garden. But she could take pictures. With shaking hands, she aimed her camera phone around the room. All that green, those living colours… it was about to die a fiery death. But better her garden than the universe. And she wouldn't abandon all of it. She grabbed a mid-sized planter and scooped several plants from the soil – Keith's cactus, Hunk's chives, Lance's rose, Pidge's ivy, Allura's lily, Coran's spiderleaf, and of course, Shiro's pink trumpet flower. It would be difficult to care for them while they traveled, and she couldn't give them good light, and they would use precious water. But she wanted to bring a little bit of each of them with her, to start her next garden with, if she could. She patted them down securely and hoisted the planter into her arms.

She swung by the medical bay on her way back to the Black Lion's hangar, picked up a few things she'd left in there, then dashed the rest of the way with her duffel bouncing on her back, cushioned by the pillows crammed inside, arms wrapped protectively around the heavy planter. She was pushing it close, she knew, but so were the others, from the sounds she was hearing over the radio.

She curled in the back of the Black Lion's cockpit next to the cryopod. It felt like a coffin beside her. _No_ , she told herself. Or if it were, then a glass coffin, like the one in the story Hunk had told her of the sleeping princess. The man inside wasn't dead yet. Krolia sat across from her, staring forward through the viewscreens, not intruding on her space or her thoughts. The wolf sat across from her too, looking at her curiously, then at Krolia, then back at her. Krolia kept a hand on his back.

Keith hopped past everything stuffed in the back with that strange feline-like grace that he'd always had, but had even more now, settling into the pilot's seat and immediately blasting off at full speed. The Castle of Lions receded behind them, she knew, and it would be for the last time.

Suddenly, she felt tears come to her eyes. She hated the finality of death. It was something impossible to deal with; first it wasn't there, and then it was, and afterwards everything was different. It was foolish now, she felt. She still had Teler, and the humans still had Earth. Giving up the Castle meant saving Teler. She loved the Castle, but not even so much to cry for it, or so she had thought. The one she really felt for was Coran, who loved the Castle like it was his child, who had no Altea behind it, who rarely talked deeply about such feelings but who felt deeply all the same. So she let herself cry silently for him as she felt the colossal explosion from the teladuv rock the Black Lion.

Beside her, Shiro's heart beat faintly on.

.

A few hours later, they landed on a planet – any planet, the first planet with breathable atmosphere – and got out to regroup face to face. Keith, without any words, brought Shiro's cryopod. In the centre of the ring of Lions, he opened it, and with Allura's help, lifted the body out and placed it on the ground between them, and remained kneeling beside it. Elslince knelt on Shiro's other side with Allura, reaching out to touch his chest that hardly rose and fell under the armour. There was not much for her to monitor. She just watched to touch him, to reassure herself that he was still there.

"This body is barely living," Keith said to them all, looking down at Shiro's face, "but Shiro's spirit is alive. It's inside the Black Lion. I've heard him talking to me."

She felt like her own heart stopped. What did that mean? How did he get there? Did Keith mean that Shiro might be…

"He… he tried to tell me, but I-I didn't realize," Lance said, falling to his knees between Allura and Elslince. "I'm so sorry, Shiro. I… I-I didn't know. I-I could've…" Tears squeezed from his eyes and his shoulders hunched up for a sob.

Allura placed a gentle hand on his shoulder then, stilling the sobs, and stood. As they watched, she walked over to the Black Lion, where its head still lay on the ground from their disembarking, and placed both her hands on its chin.

And her hands began to glow. The Black Lion's eyes flashed in response, and all across its incredibly massive body, lines of lavender quintessence began to gleam, flowing towards her slowly but with purpose.

And now Allura was glowing with quintessence, and when she opened her eyes, they were shining blue and otherworldly. She walked carefully towards them, and knelt at Shiro's head, placing her hands on his temples. And Shiro began to glow. Lavender and violet sparkles drifted from his body and floated away as if on an unfelt breeze.

When the glow faded from both Allura and Shiro, his hair was entirely white.

His eyes snapped open, and when a residual quintessence glow faded from them, there they were, those beautiful grey eyes, warm in the sunset. He shot up to sitting, inhaling sharply – oxygen deprived, she guessed, from breathing so shallowly for so long – and then coughing, choking on his own breath. Tears started into her eyes and she began to reach for him, to steady him, but he groaned and slumped away, against Keith's shoulder.

The lions flung back their heads and roared triumphantly, deafeningly, shaking the air around them. Shiro was back, the true Shiro, that was all it could mean. She- she was broken, tears were streaming down her face, she could do nothing but _feel_ while Keith held her love.

Shiro blinked his eyes open wearily and focused vaguely on Keith. "You found me," he whispered.

"We're glad you're back, Shiro," Keith said.

"Rest," Allura said gently.

Shiro's gaze drifted over to Allura and past her to Elslince. "El… Elslince."

"Shiro," she whispered. She couldn't get enough air, gasping desperately to fill her lungs past the tears, but he'd stolen it all with that loving look. She scooted unsteadily a little closer, taking him from Keith, supporting his head with a hand and his broad shoulders with the other arm. He was limp and heavy, but she could carry him. She kissed his forehead, and was about to lean his head against her shoulder when he reached up with his left arm – his only arm – and pulled her face in gently for a proper kiss.

She shuddered like a leaf in the wind at his touch, trying to maintain her self-control, not to overwhelm him with her feelings right now. She wanted – she wanted so much, and yet everything she had was already too much. His lips were soft and uncertain against hers, and she sank a little deeper into the kiss. His body was weary and worn, his spirit – how did one diagnose the psychiatry of a spirit trapped in a sentient robot lion? Yet she wanted to let go of everything and lean on him, to pour out her feelings to him, to shelter in his embrace once again. He wasn't fragile, her rock, their rock, not now that she knew he was fully himself. He could take it. But later. When he was fully rested and recovered. She would protect him with all her strength until then.

All in all, he and Keith had some explaining to do.

They parted, and he smiled weakly into her eyes. His hand was wound in her hair, and her hair was twined about his arm up to the elbow, making it difficult for him to let go. She hadn't even noticed Keith had stepped away to discuss the team's next move. "Takashi," she whispered, feeling the precious intimacy of his rarely-used given name.

He chuckled once, then closed his eyes and let her lean his white head on her shoulder. "I'm back, El. Not leaving anymore. That I know of."

"I love you," she said. She couldn't ask for a promise. Three times he'd returned to her when she never expected to see him again. Four would be pushing it. "Rest. I'll protect you."

He smiled, and rested.


	10. Part 10: Drifting

Thank you for your kind comments!

Okay so S7 was CRAZY and I LOVED IT. It was a bit heavily military, yes, but on the other hand that's where I expected the show to go, that's kind of what I wanted from it. It was a beautiful drama, and I may have to write something about Adam after I'm done this fic. (like, done-done, like, post-series finale)

.

Part 10: Drifting

Shiro, soul and body reunited, had been placed back in the cryopod – so weak, his heart was struggling, his body adjusting to a semi-new consciousness. Or at least that was what Elslince and Allura told him. Keith paced. The rest of the team had only just left to gather fuel for the Lions, but his place was here, at Shiro's side. Normally he was good at waiting – pacing was for people who liked to burn energy, like Lance – but _this_ waiting was worse torture than he'd been through his entire life. If only there was something he could _do_ …

"Keith," said a soft voice from his side, and he almost jumped. Not good, he'd been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn't noticed Elslince approach. His mom and Allura were still on the other side of the room. "Thank you for finding him, for bringing him back to us. You went through so much for him…" Her eyes lingered on his burn scar.

He blinked, unsure how to respond. "Well… uh…" He really didn't need thanks.

"Though I know you would have done it anyway," she said. "You love him too."

"He's my brother," he said a little gruffly, though he got the sense that she wasn't talking about that. Which meant she was very observant… and he didn't want to go there, not with her, not with anyone. Shiro didn't see him that way, had never seen him that way. He dimly remembered Adam, back when he'd been a kid and didn't even think about such things. And now there was Elslince. But even though he was an adult now and knew his feelings, even if there had never been an Elslince, Shiro would still think of him as a younger brother. And he was content with that. As long as Shiro didn't _die_ again, anyway. Did she think they were kindred spirits for both loving Shiro or something?

She didn't hug him, though she looked like she wanted to, instead putting a hand on his shoulder. "He _will_ come back to us," and now he got the sense she meant specifically him and her. Great, she did think they were kindred spirits. "He's like you – too stubborn to quit."

He had to smile. "Yeah. Yeah, he'll recover. It's just… the waiting is hard." It wasn't even the first time they'd waited on Shiro, either.

"I know." She turned away, her self-control slipping just a bit, shoulders hunching as she took a deep breath. His wolf whined a little and nudged her hand with his head, and she patted him absentmindedly.

Maybe she was right after all. Her pain felt awfully similar to his pain.

He turned back to the cryopod. "C'mon, Shiro. Hang in there." If he didn't get up soon, the doctor would cry, and nobody wanted that.

.

"Quizack," Romelle said. She'd come back from their zany planet-side adventure determined to say this new word correctly, it seemed.

"Nope, still wrong," Pidge said. "Quiznack. Quiz… nack."

"Quinzak – quiznack," Romelle said.

"What if she's only ever said quizack, though?" Elslince asked. "She's been separated from the Altean language that Coran and Allura know by ten thousand years, you have to allow for regional variants."

"It's not that," Romelle said, blushing. "I actually never used or even really heard swears before. This language is… it's so dirty! But even Princess Allura says it! And I don't know why, it makes me feel better to say it too!"

"Sometimes when you're fighting for the universe, you gotta talk a little tough," Lance said in his 'suave' voice.

"Sometimes when you're frustrated, it makes you feel better," Pidge said.

"I try not to use it when patching people up, but…" Elslince chuckled. "One time, Shiro needed seventeen stitches in his leg. I learned a lot of Earth words that day…"

"Oh yeah, like what?" Lance said. Everyone ignored Shiro mumbling "yes, I remember that" to himself.

"Umm…" Now Elslince blushed. "He really liked "k'so", for one. He made me promise not to repeat the others…"

"I mean, we could just ask him, right?" Hunk said. "Hey, Shiro, what sorts of-"

"No," Shiro said firmly. "You know plenty, I'm sure."

Elslince giggled a little. For a moment, he'd sounded like his old self again. He was going to need a lot of time to recover, but this precious little moment of normalcy… it was good.

.

The night after he explained what had happened to him, why his consciousness had melded to the Black Lion's to begin with, and dealing with the inevitable outburst of "You were _dead_ -dead!?" from everyone except Keith, Krolia, and Romelle… he couldn't sleep. And not because there was a green girl sticking to his side like glue every minute of every hour, as if terrified he'd disappear or die on her yet again. Physical proximity seemed to reassure her, and he was okay with giving her that – it reassured him that he was truly back in the land of the living, too.

Even though he wondered if he ought to be. No one came back from the dead… that was one thing that had gotten Zarkon into this whole galactic war mess in the first place, supposedly.

Even if he kind of needed time to himself right now. The team was handling themselves just fine without his input – Keith had truly become the leader he'd always known he was – and he was inexplicably depressed and not in the mood for interacting. Elslince said part of it was an imbalance of brain chemicals, which he could understand, but he found he just couldn't reach out to them like he once could. At least she gave him his mental space. She knew he'd talk when he was ready. He didn't know why she believed in him so- no, that was the brain chemicals talking. Maybe.

Even though he wondered how upset she was. She'd told him once that he couldn't give up _everything_ if he didn't want her to cry anymore – and he'd done it. Not necessarily intentionally, but even if given a choice… he'd probably have still done it. It had been the universe or her heart… and he'd chosen the universe. He'd done the same thing to her he'd done to Adam. He'd even come to terms with dying while existing in the serene world that was the Black Lion's consciousness. But that didn't mean he didn't feel kind of guilty now that she was having to sort through it all too. She tried to hide how much she was hurting, but he saw the freshly reopened wounds in her eyes.

One thing he certainly hated was missing his arm. Yes, he was glad the evil Galra thing was gone. Proud of Keith for destroying it. But now the simplest things were unreasonably difficult. His disease had given him more dignity… even though he hadn't gotten to the debilitating stage yet before Haggar took it from him along with his arm. And he oughtn't to complain, just it was really a pain when Elslince had to open the pudding packets for him, had to hold things for him, practically do everything except wipe his ass like an infant. He'd always been capable of doing almost everything for himself and losing that independence was unbearably frustrating, made him feel like a giant useless piece of meat. Patience yielded focus, though, and he was going to need focus if he was going to make it through this long journey with his sanity intact. He couldn't get angry at El. What was he going to do, not eat his pudding? He wanted the pudding.

The bathroom door opened and Elslince tip-toed out, back to his side – but as soon as she lay down next to him, a shaggy form loomed out of the darkness and draped itself over her stomach. She grunted with the weight. "Wolfy, get _off_."

"He really likes you, huh?" Shiro said, happy for the distraction from his dark thoughts.

"He really likes _making me a pillow_ … I said get off!" The wolf ignored her, looking at Shiro contentedly.

"C'mon," Shiro said mildly to the wolf. "What if I want to make her a pillow, too?" He had to admit how impressed he was with Keith raising a space-wolf, particularly one that seemed intelligent as anyone else they'd met, even if it didn't talk.

She snorted as the wolf considered that, then got up and stalked back over to where Keith was sleeping. Probably. Free from animals as big as she was, she rolled closer to him, not touching him except with her hair, which wound about his arm. He couldn't feel it through the armour. "Still can't sleep?"

He sighed. "Not yet. I'm trying. You all right?"

"I'm fine," she said, getting comfortable. She was kind of adorable curled up like that. "Want to talk or no?"

He didn't even know if he wanted to talk about it. Certainly didn't want to wake up Keith and Krolia. He sighed again. "I mean, I'm not thrilled about being brought back in the body of my own evil clone… who tried to kill you all…"

"Not evil," Elslince said. "Neither you, nor anything from you could be evil. Mind-controlled."

"Because that makes it all okay," he said sarcastically. "Blowing up the Castle, punching you all in the face…"

Blue eyes looked up at him and made him feel bad. "He tried to be Shiro for us. He was Shiro for us-"

"Until he wasn't."

"Which wasn't his fault. Unless you want to blame him for existing."

He wanted to. Wanted to say they'd have been better off with no Shiro than a time-bomb of one.

"He gave us what we needed when we needed it," she said softly. "Gave me what I needed. The strength to continue. The leadership to fight. Just like you would have. The fact that Haggar created him, and then stole him from us… not his fault. And when she strikes, it's always devastating, no matter what. Kuron wasn't evil. She is."

"I'm still mad at him," he grumbled, putting his arm around her. "I have very high standards for myself, clones not exempt."

He was trying to joke a little bit, to lift the tension from his outward feelings, even if his inward feelings were still all messed up. It seemed to work, as she draped an arm over his chest. "Hey, Shiro."

"Mm?"

"Didn't you once tell me that 'shiro' means white?"

"Yeah, Shirogane means white steel – or maybe silver. And Kogane means gold. You're saying my hair finally fits."

He felt her smile. Some of her hair drifted up to touch his. "Yes. And it's beautiful."

"I guess." It hadn't really mattered one way or another, he wasn't much for worrying about his looks. "You've always been beautiful."

"Go to sleep, silver boy." A slight, involuntary squeeze that told him she was still internally freaking out about the dying thing and didn't want to let go of him, probably ever again.

He squeezed her shoulders back. "You too, green girl."


	11. Part 11: Captain Shirogane

[SPOILERS FOR S7]

Okay so at this part of the show I was freaking out EVERYWHERE. Oh my god Shiro you stunning crazy human disaster. So proud of Space-Husband. Even if he decided to have a fist-fight on the exterior of a spaceship free-falling through atmospheric re-entry without a helmet.

.

Part 11: Captain Shirogane

After the introductions, Shiro took Iverson aside. "Is… Is Adam still mad at me? Is that why he's not here?" He hadn't expected Earth to arrive so soon, but the team had said something about a 'magical teleporting nebula' that had shortened their journey by about seventeen months. He had thought to have more time to consider what to say to his ex-fiancé. About their break-up. About what had happened to him. About Elslince.

Iverson hesitated, his gaze softening in compassion, and Shiro felt something heavy sink into his gut. "I'm sorry, Shiro. He died in the first attack."

"No…" Of all the possibilities he'd considered… that hadn't been one. Even after they'd heard Commander Holt's recording. Oh god… Adam…

Iverson made a 'come with me' gesture. "There's a memorial to everyone we lost that day. I'll take you."

.

The wall was large – much too large. And still he somehow found Adam within ten seconds of looking at it. The little picture was almost too much to bear: that handsome face, with the neat hair, the intellectual glasses, the professionally blank gaze of a soldier… He touched the plaque with his hand, fingers brushing over the tiny portrait. All that he was, all that he'd been… reduced to a small piece of bronze on a wall. He didn't have to ask Iverson how he'd died. Adam had been a great fighter pilot. But a relatively slow, unshielded, poorly armed Earth fighter against a Galra beam weapon… he wouldn't have stood a chance. There probably hadn't even been a body to recover.

"Adam…" he whispered, voice quavering. "I'm sorry."

It wasn't fair. He'd been the one to leave, he'd given everything of himself to protect Earth and the universe, and Adam was gone anyway. But life wasn't fair. War wasn't fair. He had to swallow it and carry on. He knew the conflict ahead was going to demand everything he had yet again. Mentally, he was finally ready. Emotionally, now…

Elslince had followed him to the memorial, of course, lingering in the shadows at the edge of the hall respectfully. Giving him space to deal with this initial impact of grief in privacy.

He should tell her. He'd never mentioned Adam to her, hadn't wanted to burden her with that particular baggage, hadn't wanted to tell her so flat-out what a terrible long-term commitment he was. Breaking up with Adam had hurt too much. He'd tried not to even compare them in his mind – Adam was Adam, and Elslince was Elslince, and he loved them as much but differently.

And he wanted a reminder that he wasn't alone, when one more piece of his past – his home – had been ripped from him. He turned to her and reached out, and she came running to him, wrapping her arms and hair about him. He buried his face in that hair and let out a long, half-controlled shuddering breath. "Thank you," he mumbled.

"Who was he?" she asked softly.

He hesitated. "My ex-fiancé. I… I'm sorry I never told you about him before."

"Would you tell me about him now?"

He took another deep breath. He'd never felt this close to tears in… forever. "Met him in middle school. You remember I said I used to have anger issues? That I used to be kind of like Keith?" He felt her nod. "Adam was what changed that for me. He was so serious, even back then. I didn't like him at first – thought he was some kind of goody-two-shoes. It was the glasses, I guess. And then… we became friends. Him, and Matt Holt, and me – we were inseparable. He inspired me, supported me, even through my… issues." Not time to bring up his disease. "He saw who I could be, him and Iverson, and he turned a blind eye when Matt and I were off being little shits. He pretended he disapproved, but he even joined us from time to time. No one could prove anything… we were all the top of our class, perfect record, everything. He really had a wicked sense of humour, scathing wit, and he didn't hesitate to call bullshit when he saw it."

It felt so wrong, using past tense about Adam. Even if he hadn't seen him in two or three years. More, from Adam's point of view. And now he'd been dead two years, while Shiro had been time travelling. He steeled himself and continued, words falling out awkwardly, yet unwilling to stop. "I asked him out when we graduated." He had to smile, shakily, remembering how stunned Adam had been… remembering the beautiful smile he'd made when he'd said 'yes'. "And he asked me to marry him three years later."

"He sounds lovely," Elslince murmured into his shoulder. "But…?"

"But I didn't stop pushing myself, trying to do everything I could before… before I couldn't, and at some point that bled over into pushing him _away_. It came to a head when I went on the Kerberos mission. He didn't want me to go. I would have been years away from him, and by the time I came back… He wanted me to stay here, with him. And… as you know, I didn't. If I hadn't…"

He felt Elslince shift with unease in his embrace. "If you hadn't, I wouldn't be here – my planet probably wouldn't be here. Voltron wouldn't be here. And Zarkon would be here. Earth would be just one more subjugated planet, no matter how great warriors humans are."

"Yeah… I know. But I… I thought I'd have a chance to at least apologize. To make things up to him. I don't know how angry he would be at me, what he would feel about you – although once you got to know each other, I think you'd get along really well. But… I thought at least he'd be here to _be_ angry at me." There was no closure. There was nothing, just a planet-sized weight of grief and guilt and regret.

"I… I wish you'd told me of him before," Elslince said. "I didn't even know you were in love… although I guessed, because of your kind heart and handsome face, you must have had _someone_ , right? I wouldn't have wished him to be angry at you because of me…"

He shook his head. "Maybe he didn't mean for it to be a permanent break-up… but it felt like it to me. And when I met you, I fell for you… because you're amazing too. He wouldn't have been angry at you. It's all on me. I-I honestly don't know why you're still with me…"

"Stop being so self-effacing," she said, and that was when he noticed she was crying into his uniform. "You think too little of yourself when it comes to other people. Let us love you, dammit."

"I'm sorry," he said awkwardly, and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "I've never actually been good with relationships." His gaze fell back on Adam's portrait. "I wonder if Sam got the chance to tell him I was alive." Or if he'd gone to his death thinking Shiro was still dead. No, he must have guessed that if Sam could make it, so did Shiro.

"I bet he did," Elslince said, sniffling her tears away. "And I know he was proud of you, although it sounds like he would have been exasperated too."

"Yeah. You're right. I can hear him now… 'Takashi, you giant dork, getting kidnapped by aliens wasn't enough? You had to fly a giant robot lion across the freaking universe, die, get cloned, put into a metaphysical state, and almost doom us all before you even thought about coming back to Earth?'" He shook his head. "Thank you for being here. I… It helps. It's so sudden for me…"

"Whatever you need," she said. "I'm here."

He squeezed. "More than anything else, I wish you'd been able to meet him. Or many of the people here. I knew so many of them…"

"It's because of them that Earth still has a chance," Iverson said gently from behind them. "It's time for our debriefing."

.

He didn't know when he'd started giving orders. Probably had slipped into it shortly after returning to the Garrison – at first, he'd just meant to add his weight to Sam and Iverson against Sanda. Sam had still been the one giving most of the actual commands… until now. But it had been habit, from leading Voltron and the Coalition of Free Planets, from _having_ to take command, from having to convince frightened or argumentative or just plain stubborn allies to take necessary action. He'd been glad to be back in a proper military structure that he _knew_ , so much he hadn't realized he'd outgrown his old rank. And Sam and Iverson had let him, trusting him.

The Atlas had been loaded with all base personnel, her engines charging, the base above them under heavy attack. He'd automatically stood at the top of the bridge, instinct telling him he needed to know what was going on in case they needed his input. He'd known what to do, what to say – he'd virtually been trained for this moment.

Even so, he hadn't realized it until Coran saluted him, confidently saying "Yes, Captain!"

He paused in surprise, casting his gaze around the rest of the bridge. All eyes were fixed on him, expectantly, trustingly. "The bridge is yours, Shiro," Sam said.

"We could use an engineer," he answered gratefully.

Sam saluted him, beaming with pride. "Yes, sir."

Iverson on weapons. Veronica McClain on shields and subsystems. Sam in engineering. Coran at the helm. And down in medbay, accessible through the comm at his elbow, Elslince was safe, taking care of the civilians packed on board. The datascreens glimmered vibrantly before him. His new prosthetic arm hummed silently with Altean power, strong and comforting, Allura's gift to him.

For the first time in a long time, everything just… _clicked_. He was ready to fight. And against Sendak, of all enemies…

It wouldn't be easy. But Sendak wouldn't know what hit him. They were going to save Voltron, save his young friends, and take him down permanently.

"Captain, the Galra fleet is directly over the launch pad."

"MFE Squadron, we need you to clear a path. The Atlas is powered and ready for launch!"

.

It was ludicrous to launch a single human body powered only by jetpack into the sort of space armada battle normally only seen in blockbuster sci-fi movies. It was insane to try to hack an alien crystal with a robot arm. That part had hurt.

And it was definitely suicidal to have a fistfight on the upper hull of an alien warship, sans space-helmet, re-entering Earth's atmosphere, plummeting in freefall rapidly towards the surface. It was a good thing the ship had enough ambient external atmosphere his lungs didn't seize up.

He did it anyway. This might have topped all the other crazy things he'd done in his career, but Sendak needed to be Put Down and Stay Down. No more destroying Earth. No more destroying his friends. No more.

Until the massive ship crashed onto its side, and his last handhold was jarred loose, and he fell…

He was only out for a few minutes, but by the time he'd gotten his eyes open again, Sendak was up – barely. Shiro couldn't move, could barely see straight, could barely feel his prosthetic arm let alone move it to block whatever attack was surely coming.

Something small, a Garrison shuttle maybe, plummeted through the atmosphere and skidded with a screech of metal to a stop not far away. He heard a door open and pounding footsteps, and a slim figure in medical garb appeared crouching over him protectively, green hair swirling though the wind had died down. "You won't touch him," Elslince said, and his blurry vision showed him she held a pistol pointed steadily at Sendak. A pistol!? Elslince had touched a gun? For him? Where had she gotten it?

Sendak didn't even blink. "Victory… or death!" He raised his arm, the beam charging. Elslince flinched, hesitating.

The Black Lion appeared behind Sendak with a massive roar – and from its defiant jaws erupted a lean, howling creature, striking with his sword.

Sendak fell to the sand and lay still.

Elslince turned to him, dropping the gun, Keith ran to him, and together they pulled him to a sitting position. He gasped in pain, unable to focus clearly on either of them, but shocked that he hadn't broken anything. For once he'd had the devil's own luck. "Thank you."

A shadow fell over them, and they looked up to see the other four Lions coming in. The other Paladins were cheering, he could hear them over Keith's comm. Elslince was trying to get him to tell her how many fingers she was holding up, and he probably needed to answer, because the answer wasn't as consolidated as he'd like, but the feeling of relief suffusing the entire planet was infectious. Keith pulled him to his feet, supporting him, Elslince boosting his other side-

Something was entering Earth's atmosphere, and it wasn't the burning remnant of a Galra ship. It was aimed at them, and friendly or not, it wasn't slowing down.

"Paladins, brace for impact!" barked Keith. "Hunk, help us with Shiro!" Hunk's yellow armour dashed up, and he felt strong hands pull him into a fireman's carry. Even so, the shockwave of the object's impact picked them all up, flinging them chaotically through the air. With a growl, the Yellow Lion caught them, flinging them safely into its cargo hold.

He was still dazed, trying to reorient himself, but Keith was off back to the Black Lion, Hunk was rushing to his own cockpit, the Yellow Lion was moving, commands were being given and received. Elslince crouched beside him, bracing him, and he clung weakly to her. He dimly registered when the Lion's mouth opened again, and Hunk and El half-dragged him to what he assumed was the Atlas and a medical crew. He stumbled obediently through corridors until they dropped him into a hospital bed and El and the medic began checking him over. He took deep breaths at her instruction, trying to regain his focus, his centre.

The Atlas shook violently under what felt like a direct hit. And again. He shook his head. His vision was clearing, his limbs steadying. Whatever they'd done to him, it was enough he could get back up. He pushed the medic aside and hauled himself out of bed. "I need to get back."

"But Commander," began the medic.

Elslince stopped the medic with a gesture, helping Shiro up, pushing him to stand at his full height. Her smile was a little exasperated… mostly proud. So proud she was almost bursting, now that he was looking full at her. "Go, then. Do what only you can do."

He nodded and hurried off, jogging at first, then flat out sprinting as he recovered his legs. Adrenaline was part of what was keeping him going, he knew, and he was going to pay for it later. But he was up, he was ready to fight again, and he'd make sure there was a later.

.

Elslince had only personally seen and experienced some of the weirder stuff that the rest of Team Voltron had in their journey through the universe. But she thought that the medbay suddenly gaining a mind of its own and completely changing shape – and from Shiro's order "Hold tight", the rest of the ship too – had to rank pretty highly on the 'weird things' list, whether or not she'd actively been on Oriande, or the astral plane, or been shrunk to the size of a space-mouse.

The wolf whined and shivered under her desk next to her plants, and she reached down to pat him comfortingly. She had no idea what was going on. But she knew Shiro and Voltron would fix it.

In the meantime, there were already coming in reports of twisted ankles and cracked wrists from the brief gravity realignment. She'd do her part to the full.


	12. Part 12: Happily For Now

Okay so this is the most horribly self-indulgent Shelslince fluff, but c'mon, it's the first time-skip where things have been really positive and peaceful!

Though there was not nearly enough female gaze in this chapter, I may have to remedy that. Bring unto me S8 so I can swoon more over my giant hot buff trapezoidal Japanese space-husband! And for the love of pete don't kill him _again_ (I think he's probably okay from here on out, it wouldn't make sense tropewise, but this _is_ Dreamworks we're talking about. …Okay as long as he goes out in a massive blaze of heroic glory.). : P

Shiro meeting his parents is based on that super adorable tumblr post, obviously.

.

Part 12: Happily For Now

The battle with the strange mecha nearly destroyed everyone again, but even when it was done, his work was not over. The Lions had been scattered across the western side of North America, their paladins unresponsive. The Atlas had turned back into a ship, at least. He needed to send out retrieval teams, get in contact with the rest of the world, get civilians liberated from their work camps, get civilians shelter and food and water…

Even delegating the things that needed to be delegated, it was past midnight local time before Sam directed him to the captain's cabin to sleep. The Lions had been found, and the paladins, though barely conscious, had piloted them to a safe location and been extracted to what was left of the Garrison hospital, which was surprisingly intact after Sendak's assault. He was so proud of them, of all they'd done, the incredible things they'd accomplished together. Shiro stepped blearily through the sliding door into his new cabin, stripping off his space suit, his undergarment beneath, all disgustingly soaked through with sweat. He left them puddled on the floor; normally he was neat as a pin, but tonight he was just too tired. He stepped into the shower, moaning a little under the soothing hot water and the influence of the massive headache that had snuck up on him in the last few hours. He'd probably been more badly injured than he knew. His back was covered in bruises, he'd been electrocuted violently by the Galra crystal, and he wondered if he might have microfractures in his ribs and good arm, maybe even his skull, even if nothing had snapped outright. He probably ought to rest in the days ahead.

As the new captain of the Atlas, he didn't have that luxury. He'd give orders out of medbay if he had to, but he'd prefer to be on his feet and in the thick of things. He needed to see things personally to be comfortable with his decisions.

He almost fell asleep in the shower, but dragged himself out and flopped on the bed. He was asleep almost instantly.

When he woke some time later, there was a lump on the other side of the bed that hadn't been there before. It was as still as the dead, its hair not even moving as it lay sprawled on its face. When had she come in? He forebore to poke her, though he was tempted. What time was it? He checked his Altean pocket tablet, automatically converting and calculating… It was Too Early o'Clock. But his alarm was going to go off in ten minutes…

He may as well get up, and did, setting his alarm to mute. Oh god, his body ached all over, and he stretched as far as he could, fighting the pain. Thank goodness his prosthetic didn't hurt, at least. And his headache was better; he'd grab some painkillers with breakfast and power through it. El had picked up his dirty clothes and put them neatly to one side, though she hadn't found the laundry chute. And her clothes too. Her clothes? He glanced back at the figure in the bed. She was still in her underthings, but the temptation to touch her was stronger than ever. He knew how smooth her skin was… _Not the time, Takashi._

There weren't a whole lot of uniforms tailored to his size and prosthetic shoulder, so he was grateful to find a clean second set laid out on the desk. She'd found another cadet uniform for herself, too. She looked awful in Garrison orange, and actually so did Allura, come to think of it, but no one had accused an Earth military of being stylish in centuries. He'd just have to deal with it.

An alarm went off, and he jumped before he realized it was hers. She must have synced it to his. She stirred and grunted, hair coiling spasmodically. "Sen'… R'melle… to 'llura…" She was still in work mode.

He bent over her as she struggled to roll over onto her back. "How are you?"

"Nngh," was the eloquent response. "How are you? How are you up so early?"

"I'm fine," he said. Even if it wasn't completely true, it was necessary for it to be true. Actually, what he really needed was breakfast. He'd barely eaten the day before, mostly coffee and protein bars, and now he was aware that he was starving in addition to everything else. Real food for breakfast would make the day much more bearable. He wondered if he'd find Sam and Iverson in the mess. "I just woke up. When did you get in?"

"Dunno. A couple vargas ago. Commander Holt gave me fresh clothes for you- oh, you found them."

"Mmhmm. I'm grateful." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, and some green hair and one hand reached out to him fondly. "Take care today."

"You too." As he pulled away, she sat up. "If at any point you don't feel well, at all, you better report to medbay immediately, Captain Shirogane. We need you in one piece."

Despite her tiredness, there was some fire there. He saluted her with a smile. "Yes, ma'am."

.

That day was hard work again, and the day after too – it wasn't until that second day that he actually managed to sign off at a reasonable hour. Still too late to eat dinner sitting in the mess with the crew, but early enough that he wasn't tempted to just fall into bed and pass out, tired but not exhausted. They'd already made contact with the Resistance, specifically with Matt, there was a memorial to set up for everyone who'd fought and died for Earth, clean-up work was underway, communications were finally re-established across the globe, and Sam was putting together a team to retrieve the pieces of the strange mecha that had attacked them in order to see what they could find out.

And for at least an hour, he could put that all out of his head with a long shower, dinner, maybe some light reading, and sleep.

He was in the shower, resting his forehead against the wall, letting the water stream down his still-bruised back, when he heard the door open and close. "Hello," said Elslince's voice.

"Hi," he answered, not turning around to look through the frosted plastic shower door.

"Need anything?" She'd been working so hard, with the Garrison, with the civilians, and she still had the energy for him?

He snorted gently. "You?"

There was a pause, then he heard the shower door open. He whirled, startled, not having expected her to interpret in… that… way…

She flinched, starry blue eyes wide, looking ready to close the door again and run away, hair pulling away into tight ripples, but god she was beautiful. For a moment, they both stared, breathless, and then he smiled and held out a hand to her, inviting her in. She took his hand and let herself be drawn into a tight embrace as the water poured down over them both. "Hey, El."

"Yes, Shiro?"

"Marry me." No, he wasn't done sorting through his baggage with Adam. Yes, he wanted her by his side if at all possible. Adam would have understood. Probably. Eventually. He didn't see the point of delaying, not when they had this window of recovery.

He felt her flinch again in surprise, and her arms tightened on his back, pressing against the bruises a little painfully. "Yes. I will."

"Not when the war's done, soon."

"Yes. Goodness knows how long the war will be." She looked up at him. "I want to be with you, Takashi, for as long as we have. Trees willing, we'll have a long time…"

She was so alive in his arms, so warm and soft and loving, her mouth sweet on his as he bent his head to kiss her, as he felt her arms move up to wrap around his neck and her hair swirled over his head, threading around his short hair in an intimate way that he dimly remembered – from this body with another mind, when his hair had been long. And now he understood, he finally understood what she'd meant then, why she wanted to know what it felt like.

He gave himself to her, all he had not yet given her, and she gave herself to him the same, until she screamed his name in a way that made his heart ache. Adam would have to forgive him. He was hers now, and only hers.

They lay together in bed, and he watched her, her breathing, her gently shifting hair, the way her eyelashes fluttered as she blinked. She was different from a human woman, but he'd never made love to a human woman so it didn't matter. He was… at peace, in a way he hadn't been for years. Since before everything had happened. Maybe since ever. And it was thanks to her. His green angel. She destroyed him and completed him, protected him and supported him…

Speaking of protection… "Hey, so when you came to save me from Sendak…"

She squinted up at him, snuggling with his prosthetic. She certainly liked it a lot more than his previous one. Actually, so did he. "What about it?" She giggled a little as his artificial fingers flicked at her chin.

"How'd you know…? And where'd you get the gun?"

"It's you." Her smile was fondly exasperated. "I figured you'd be doing the absolute most reckless thing possible, and when I heard Keith say you were fighting Sendak on the _exterior hull_ I knew I was right. So I ran to the Atlas's hangar and grabbed a shuttle before anyone could stop me. And the one person who tried… gave me his gun when I told him what I was doing." She buried her face in her hands. "I'm still conflicted. I would have shot Sendak without remorse, but I swore an oath… but maybe principles aren't supposed to be black and white… but if they aren't, what good are they?"

He stroked her back. "It's not like you were going to torture him first. You were just doing what needed to be done to save my life. And… knowing what it means to you… I appreciate it." He appreciated strong principles, but he wasn't sure what the philosophy was in hard line pacifism. He drew his lines elsewhere. In any case, he forgave her this.

"Well, it's a good thing Keith was there."

"You say that like he wouldn't be there. Just like you. Always catching me when I fall."

She snuggled closer and his arm tightened around her. "Always, silver boy."

.

He wasn't sure how he made it through the memorial without choking up, but he gave his speech with all the dignity he could muster, the message that Earth and her newly arrived allies needed to hear – they'd weathered a hard battle, they'd lost people, sacrifices had been made, but though the war wasn't over, Voltron had returned and was the vanguard of their hope.

Even if that last battle against the strange mecha had called that into question, at least for him.

But seeing everyone gathered there, and knowing who else had arrived in the last week, gave him strength. Krolia and Kolivan had returned, and were spending time with Keith; Matt had returned – now older than Shiro, and with a girlfriend – and was with his family. Shay's Balmerra had relocated to a Near-Earth orbit, which would certainly make Sam and his science team happy, and while her family attended the memorial, Shay had gone to visit Hunk. And the Teleran Elder Hamza had arrived seeking his great-granddaughter, looking even more frail than the last time Shiro had seen him, though he hadn't gotten a chance to talk to him in person yet.

None of this was to compare with when he got off the stage, and heard Veronica calling him urgently. "Captain, someone to see you, sir!"

"On my way," he said, and strode briskly over to where she was – and stopped short. "…Mom? Dad? Grandpa?"

"Takashi," said his mom, reaching up to him with tears in her eyes and the biggest smile on her face.

"M-Mom! Dad!" He dropped to his knees before her – she was a tiny little woman – and hugged her tightly, and felt them all embrace him back. "I-I'm sorry I was gone so long, I'm sorry I didn't call when I got back, I'm sorry…" Everything he'd been stoically holding back for so long came flooding out, and he was crying, crying harder than he'd cried in years, folded in the warmth of family for the first time since before Kerberos. He hadn't lost them.

"It's all right, Takashi, it's all right," his dad said. "We're so proud of you. We're just glad that you're back."

"What happened to your hair, boy?" asked his grandfather. "You look older than me now!"

"And the arm," his dad said. "Is that Commander Holt's engineering?"

He looked up, smiling through his tears. "It's a long story. I'm so glad you're all right. I-I heard about Adam right after I got back, but no one knew about civilians in Japan…"

"We're sorry about Adam, Takashi," said his mom. "He was so brave."

"Yes, he was." He pulled back, wiping his eyes on the sleeve. "I miss him. I… wasn't expecting him not to be here when I came back." He took a deep breath, recomposing himself. "Anyway, I hope you'll stay to meet the team. Especially Elslince."

"Would you like me to find her?" Veronica volunteered respectfully.

"If she's not with her great-grandfather already, that would be great, thank you."

His family had brightened up. "Elslince?" his grandfather said, having a little difficulty with the very un-Japanese name. "A girl?"

"You found someone while you were away?" his mother asked, eyes shining. "I was so worried, after you broke up with Adam…"

He wondered if he should prepare them at all to meet an alien. It was fine. They'd understand when they met her. "Yes, and she's amazing. I'm going to marry her as soon as we can find a time."

"Shiro!" said a reproachful voice from behind him. "I haven't told my great-grandfather yet!"

He heard a wizened laugh as he turned, seeing Elslince supporting her great-grandfather as he hobbled on his stick. The Elder's entourage followed a distance behind. "I'm hardly surprised, dear Elslince. I'm happy for both of you. Take care of her, will you?"

Shiro knelt before the Elder. "I will. Thank you, Elder." He stood and took Elslince's hand, leading her closer to his family. "El, this is my family. Mom, Dad, Grandpa, this is Elslince of Teler."

They were looking a little bit startled, with the green, and the waving hair, but the Garrison orange uniform had to be reassuring, and the way he looked at her… and the way she looked at him… They'd seen it before, with Adam. But they'd supported him then. He trusted they'd support him now.

His mother smiled and bowed formally to Elslince. "It's lovely to meet you, Elslince of Teler. Thank you for being there for my son."

"He's the most amazing person I've ever met," Elslince said, mimicking the bow. "I'm proud and honoured to be with him."

After that, he knew they'd accept her whole-heartedly, just as Elder Hamza had accepted him.

"So when is the wedding?" his father asked, beaming at them both.

"Um. We don't know yet. Soon."

"Then there's no time to waste," his mother said. "Takashi, I know you're busy with Garrison things, defending us against the hostile sort of aliens, but you will make time this week so we can plan something appropriate."

"We don't need anything big, Mom…"

His mother shushed him with pursed lips. "First, there's the cultural differences – what's she expecting, even if it's 'nothing big'? Second, there's the food."

"Thirdly, if you don't invite at least Team Voltron, they'll crash it anyway, probably in the Lions," Elslince put in.

"And the wedding of the Coalition Commander would be a joyful occasion for everyone," Elder Hamza put in with twinkling eyes. He was the-? Oh, yes, of course, the Coalition would look up to him again as they had… what had been three years ago for them. "Though that's none of my business, of course."

He took a deep breath. "We'll discuss it. I'll make time, Mom. Thank… thank you so much for being here." He was going to start crying again in a minute.

.

Earth was transformed in mere months. Sure, the major cities were still in ruins, and there were a great many people salty about the destruction of several major landmarks that had survived WWIII, and the devastation and exploitation of a number of protected nature zones that had carefully been re-established since said war, but on the ground, life was putting itself back together. Dismantling and reclaiming resources from the Galra ships and structures certainly helped, trading with their Resistance allies helped, and many aliens came and stayed to help rebuild, because they, too, knew what it was like to have your planet ravaged by the Galra. It was amazing to walk into a city street and see so much colour, see humans getting along with species that five years ago they never dreamed existed. Communications were back, the economy was putting itself back together, and people were donating whatever they could to the Garrison and the Resistance.

Shiro and the rest of what passed for High Command these days remained a little on edge; just because they'd defeated Sendak didn't mean that the rest of the Galra wouldn't come take some shots, and certainly no one knew what Haggar had been up to since… since she took over his clone's mind. He doubted she was dead, but the silence was ominous.

But it was also welcome, nonetheless. He felt like he'd finally found his place in the universe, and though he still had bad moments with his PTSD, he had a much more extensive and subtle support system now. He felt… rested. At least, more so than usual. And at least he had access to real coffee now. And despite how busy he was, Elslince managed to drag him out for 'normal' things – walks in the woods, field trips to try Earth cuisine, Earth music, visits to their friends and families, or just quiet time together. And her plants had survived, and she was already making a new, if smaller garden in the corner of the captain's cabin. Earth plants fascinated her, unsurprisingly. He didn't know how she did it; as a medic and doctor able to treat any species in the Coalition, she was maybe even busier than he was.

But the next time Haggar dropped a magical nuke on them… he'd be ready for it.

Like it or not, he was a celebrity now, even more of a hero than he'd been when he was an astronaut. He supposed he'd done crazier, more dangerous things that affected more people than he'd ever done as an astronaut, and he'd already been a bit of a celebrity while Coran was doing his media tour, but _this_ attention, from his homeworld, was uncomfortable. He could just imagine Adam rolling his eyes. And telling him it was only his own fault.

Speaking of the media tour, someone in the Resistance had recorded nearly all of their performances, and they were broadcasting on repeat around the globe now. It was very embarrassing. For all of them. Especially when Keith found out that Allura was 'playing' as him. Coran was very apologetic to Keith after that. Hunk was nearly as embarrassed as Shiro, but the younger members of his family had already downloaded it, to his chagrin. Pidge pretended to ignore it, until Matt began teasing her mercilessly about the pseudo-jargon Coran had written for her. Lance was perhaps the only one who thoroughly enjoyed it, but he'd always thoroughly enjoyed performing. And Romelle, of course, found it all fascinating.

Marrying Elslince… snowballed, as he'd hoped it wouldn't. They called a compromise; a private ceremony in the morning, with just parents and close friends, and a celebration in the evening for everyone else on the planet to join in. The morning ceremony was everything he'd wished for. His family, her family, the Paladins and Coran, Iverson, Sam and Colleen and Matt and Matt's girlfriend, Romelle, and Elslince's former mentor, all gathered on the bridge of the Atlas. Right up to the captain's cap, he was in dress blues – which were actually sparkling white, a colour that he'd been wearing more frequently lately, between the combat space-suit and his new off-duty casual clothes. With even the Garrison officer BDU being grey and not sombre black, it felt as if coming back to Earth had washed all the darkness from him.

There was no procession in Teleran tradition, and the only reason he arrived on the bridge before she did was probably entirely due to his preparations being simpler. But when she did appear, he caught his breath, staring. She looked like a golden rose, arrayed in yellow that clung to her like flower petals, her hair loose and flowing everywhere, scented with some delicate floral perfume, yellow make-up painted across her cheeks and nose. Blood-yellow, she'd told him during planning sessions, for vibrancy, youth, life. The collar of his dress uniform suddenly seemed too tight, and the way her blue eyes were fixed on him, as if there was no one else in the world for her, was overwhelming.

In the Teleran tradition, they traded flower crowns, and in the Earth tradition, they traded rings. Vows before Princess Allura, who had changed into her royal gown for the occasion, a tearful kiss, and then a glass of champagne for everyone old enough to drink alcohol. He didn't let go of her through it all, keeping his arm around her, wondering if this were a dream. It felt like a dream. Or maybe that was just the lack of oxygen to his brain.

They adjourned to the captain's cabin and lingered, most of them, talking over drinks and lunch for an hour or two. Embarrassing stories were shared, baby photos, and bad jokes from Lance, Hunk, and Matt. Gifts were presented, small ones, heartfelt ones.

Coran had done the production for the evening, the one with interplanetary broadcasting and lights and fireworks and miking and ridiculous things that Shiro didn't feel were worth the cost. But Coran had respected the wishes of those who didn't want to appear on intergalactic television, such as Elder Hamza – too old for such excitement – and his parents – too modest for such a spectacle. Though he'd cajoled Keith into sticking around with "You're the whatsit, the best man _and_ the Black Paladin, you can't not be there!" Keith had glowered, but participated stoically.

He was a little less nervous about meeting her in her resplendence, up on the dias beneath the massive sweeping canopy. They'd sort of practiced in the morning, if he chose to look at it that way. Their smiles were a little wry now, acknowledging the silliness of the situation, their movements still a little stiff under the watching crowd and cameras, but when they kissed he heard a huge roar of approval from the assembly. God, he couldn't wait for it to be over.

But first they were expected to start the party. Lance had spent the last week trying to teach the both of them to dance, enough that they wouldn't embarrass themselves. Shiro was pretty sure it was a lost cause in the long term, but… at least he could do more than shuffle now. And he had to say the music was pretty good. There was a _lot_ of good food set out, and they had to accept congratulations and compliments from at least a few people. Somehow, he was even happy to see Slav again, despite getting an earful of probability on the number of children they'd have in this reality.

It was past midnight before Pidge snuck up behind them with a devious grin. She was dressed in a dress that made her positively adorable, but she had her comm in her hand. "You guys look like you wanna get out of here."

"God, yes," Shiro said, and Elslince nodded. "You going to rescue us?"

Pidge smirked and snapped her fingers, and while Lance jumped on a table and began belting karaoke – followed by a rather drunk Keith – she and Matt threw sheets over Shiro and Elslince, hustling them away from the festivities and into a vehicle that Hunk was driving. "Have funnnn," Matt leered teasingly, before Pidge whisked him away and Hunk started the car.

Back at base, Elslince went straight on to the Atlas to their cabin, but he lingered at the memorial wall for a minute, captain's cap in hand. "…Everything's going to be all right, Adam." He'd loved him, still loved him despite his absence. But he was his past, and she was his future, and he loved her dearly. "You'd approve of her – you'd like her. I promise."

.

They had an 8-day honeymoon with his parents in Japan and it was really nice for everyone, even though his dad had to steal his cellphone to keep him from checking in with the Garrison every two hours. Keith flew them there and picked them up afterwards, though he really shouldn't have, but he insisted.

.

It was about a month later, on the bridge of the Atlas, transporting another recovered piece of that strange mecha back to base, when he heard a slightly alarming message from the comm by his elbow. "Captain, do you have a minute?"

"Guess I do," he answered. "What can I do for you, Doctor?"

"I'd like to speak privately," she said, and he blinked.

"Coran, you have the bridge," he said, and went to go see what she wanted. Veronica's smirk followed him.

Elslince had earned herself a private office in medbay through her own skill and hard work, and she beckoned him in now and closed the door behind him. Her face was serious, uncertain, and it was pretty clear she hadn't called him down for nookie, not that she ever would. "Are you all right?"

She giggled nervously. "For varying definitions of all right… I'm pregnant."

He felt his face and mind go blank. "Wh- really?"

"Pretty sure," she said, and showed him something small and hard. "The seed shell fell out this morning, and look, it's open."

"Seed… shell?"

She peered at him. "Telerans start in the womb as seeds, didn't you know that?"

He sat down heavily on her desk. "Seed shell."

"If it's not fertilized, it falls out closed every other phoeb." She put it down and rested her hands on his shoulders. "Which means this is from two phoebs ago, and it's going to be another fourteen- Are you okay?"

"Just… dazed." Suddenly it sank in. Oh god. Neither of them had really been expecting this, though he should have remembered, Keith was half-human after all, species could cross-breed all over the universe, this was all his fault… He jumped off the desk and gave her the very most formal of Japanese bows on hands and knees, the saikeirei that only his grandfather really used anymore. "I'm sorry!"

"Huh?" She squeaked as he stayed in place, and reached down to tug him up. "What are you doing?"

"Wait, you're not… upset?" He'd been told getting pregnant was somewhat uncomfortable, and in the middle of a war where she wanted to be a relatively active participant, he'd guessed she'd want to be as physically ready for action as possible. Even if there was a lull for now.

"Why would I be upset?" Though there was a touch of irritation in her blue eyes now. "Shiro, this is… the best news I've had besides 'you're alive – again'!"

He gasped for air and wrapped his arms around her, snuggling her into his broad chest. "Oh my god. We're going to be parents."

She held him just as tightly. "Trees help me, if you do something stupid and leave me to bring up this kid on my own…"

"No promises," he said with a teasing grin. "Knowing I have my own child to protect is going to make me even more reckless."

She made a mock growl-whine of irritation, but he laughed and bent down to kiss her.


End file.
